The Missing Pieces of Mental Health: 6 Pillars That Actually Help

by KimMcLaughlin | Jun 22, 2026 | Uncategorized

What is Mental Health Awareness?

During Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to share the 6 Pillars of Mental Health a framework I use with therapy clients to create meaningful, sustainable change. You can also listen to this topic on the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast.

Mental health awareness has become more recognizable over the course of many years.

The movement originated in the early 1900s, it exploded into mainstream public consciousness during the 1990s due to new brain science, and again in the 2010s through social media, celebrity advocacy, and global campaigns.

Some reasons for mental health awareness are:

• Reduce stigma. The CDC recognizes mental health stigma as
  1. “Stigma refers to negative attitudes, beliefs, and stereotypes people may hold towards those who experience mental health conditions.
  2. Stigma can prevent or delay people from seeking care or cause them to discontinue treatment.
  3. We can all play a part in helping to reduce mental health stigma.”
• Increase access to mental health services

There is a lack of access to mental health services. I hear about it daily in my work as a therapist.

• Normalize our discussions about mental health.

There is a stigma when we talk about mental health issues. Clients and people, I meet say they cannot tell others about their mental health symptoms for fear that they will be rejected.

Today, I want to walk you through a framework I use with clients: Six pillars that support real, sustainable mental health. We are going to make this conversation an honest and real one.

What Are the 6 Pillars of Mental Health?

Mental health is multi-dimensional and that is why I talk about the 6 pillars of mental health. These 6 pillars are the foundation of the totality of who you are and how you can be mentally well.

The six pillars of mental health are:

1. Physical Health
2. Emotional Health
3. Mental Wellness
4. Lifestyle
5. Mindfulness
6. Self-Love

I find that many “Self-Health” gurus focus on one of the pillars, maybe two AND this is insufficient to create lasting change.

Together, these pillars create a holistic foundation for emotional resilience, stress management, and overall mental wellness.

The 6 Pillars of Mental Health

1. Physical Health

Your body and mind are not separate. We are learning more about the connection between how our body functions and how we are thinking and feeling.

When we look at physical health the attention often falls to weight. I have talked about weight issues and weight stigma often. Nutrition is one of the many aspects of physical health and there are quite a few other areas:

• Sleep
• Movement
• Nutrition
• Nervous system regulation

When we are “off” it tends to show up physically. Our nervous system regulation shows up in physical symptoms that can clue us onto a problem.

I like to ask myself the question, “What is your body trying to tell you right now?”

Tools that can increase your physical health.

It can be easiest to start with one small habit

• • Hydration
  • Walking
  • Consistent sleep time
  • Food that nourishes your body

2. Emotional Health

Let’s start with a key fact that feeling emotions is not the problem, avoiding them is. In my practice as a psychotherapist avoiding feelings is often the result of a year’s long pattern of disconnecting from our emotions.

It makes sense to disconnect from feelings that are upsetting, because you do not know what to do with them. I know that the more you avoid them, the more they show up at others times unannounced.

I think the starting point with all these pillars, especially, is to start being curious and recognize them. Emotional Awareness is the first step.

Suppressing emotions means we are out of touch with so many parts of ourselves: our emotions, our physical sensations and we can then be out of touch with the people around us.

This is a process that is gathered over time. I invite my clients to

• Sit with feelings
• Name their emotions
• Be curious about them

I like asking the questions:

• What emotion have you been avoiding lately?
• What emotion has been showing up often?

Tools can increase your Emotional Health.

• Name the feeling → locate it in the body → allow it.
• Naming the feeling can be simple if you use some basic terms:
  • Happy
  • Sad
  • Scared
  • Lonely
  • Bored
  • Angry
• After you name the feeling, locate it in your body. Where in your body are you feeling this? Some places I find my clients identify are:

• Anger is found in their tense neck
• Frustration is found in their tight shoulders
• Sadness is found in their tears
• Fear is found in their tight chest

• It can be scary to allow yourself to feel the feeling. When we sit with a feeling with some intention, it does slip away. The feeling will not be there forever.
• If emotional overwhelm feels difficult to manage, therapies such as Brainspotting can help address deeper patterns stored in the nervous system.

3. Mental Wellness (Thought Patterns)

Our thoughts can be indicative of a problem in our lives. Our thoughts can be overwhelming and intrusive in a way that can be quit negative.

Thoughts shape perception AND they’re not always truth.

I tell my clients that just because they think something does not make it true.

Thoughts are indications there is an inner critic that wants to bring us down.

Our thoughts can add information that we do not know to be true. It is like our thoughts can get 10 steps ahead of a situation AND make it worse.

There is also a tendency to put meaning to what others are saying/doing that is not based on the truth at that moment.

I like the THINK acronym

• T= Is it true.
• H= Is it helpful
• I= Is it inspiring
• N= Is it necessary?
• K= Is it kind.

You do not have to believe every thought that you have. I say you made the thought up and you can unmake it up. Meaning you can investigate the thought to see if it is true.

What are Mental Wellness Tools?

I find it is helpful slow down and questions what our mind is telling us is true.

• Recognize whether there is some agitation or dysregulation in your body.
• Take a deep breath.
• Ask yourself, What do I know to be true?
• Wait for the answer and keep breathing.
• If the thoughts are positive and helpful you are probably moving in the right direction.

Generally, we are responding from our inner critic. The voice in our head that tells us we are wrong or others are wrong.

It is the part of our head that also makes things up. We make up stories in our head that is not always based on reality.

4. Lifestyle

How you move through your daily life either supports or drains your mental health.

The Lifestyle Pillar for mental health is a significant one. Lifestyle is about your day-to-day life.

Think of the Lifestyle Pillar as:

• Work/School
• Family/Children
• Play
• Money
• Family of Origin
• Social Relationships

As you might be able to tell, the Lifestyle Pillar plays into all the other pillars. Emotions and thoughts affect how we live our lives on a day-to-day basis.

In recognition of the vastness of this pillar, lets look at how we can address what shows up in our relationships.

Boundaries play a huge role in how we address what goes on in our lives. Boundaries are ultimately how we can take care of ourselves AND not take care of ourselves.

• Can you embrace a work/life balance?
• Do you people please and let others take advantage of you?
• Do you say yes when you mean no?
• Do you take care of others at your own expense?

Increase your Lifestyle response

Tools that we want to embrace in our Lifestyle is ones that help us determine what is important to us.

• • What aspect of your life causes you concern?
  • Where in your life are you saying yes when you should say no?
  • One boundary you can set this week?

5. Mindfulness

Mind/body/spirit awareness creates choice and opportunity.

Mindfulness is simply being present in yourself without judgment

There are so many misconceptions about Mindfulness. It is not about clearing your mind and taking away your thoughts or feelings.

Mindfulness is about getting quiet to hear, ultimately, that still small voice inside of you.

The benefits of mindfulness is that it interrupts going into autopilot with our thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Mindfulness Tools

• Try breathing in for 6 second breath, hold for 6 seconds and then let the air out for 6 seconds. This can be the reset that you need when upset.
• Wash your hands with cool water and a lovely smelling soap!!! Extra points for putting on a lotion you love.
• Walk outside and feel your feet on the ground. This is a fantastic grounding exercise.

6. Self-Love

Your relationship with yourself (self-love) sets the tone for everything else.

We live in a society that is so critical and I find our thoughts can be equally critical.

Self-Love gives us an opportunity to calm down our mind, thoughts and behavior.

We need to reframe Self-Love:

1. It is not a bubble bath.
2. It is not a pedicure.
3. It is the way you talk to treat ourself.

Many high-achieving women believe self-criticism keeps them motivated. They focus on telling themselves what they do wrong, which ends up feeling defeating.

Chronic self-judgment often increases anxiety, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy.

The inner critic can run wild AND the antidote is self-love.

There are many tools to increase Self-Love

• • Would you talk to someone you love the way you talk to yourself?
  • Practice replacing harsh self-talk with neutral/compassionate language
  • Imagine talking to yourself as if you were a younger child. What would you say to them?

How the Pillars Work Together

These 6 pillars are interconnected, not separate silos. You need all of them in balance.

Poor sleep (physical) can lead to emotional reactivity, which can lead to negative thinking and ends in strained relationships.

You can’t fix everything at once, that is impossible!

Ready to strengthen your mental health?

The good news is you do not have to focus on all 6 pillars of mental health all at once!

Over time as you move through all the pillars, you will notice a subtle shift in your feelings about yourself and your life.

Let’s create some mental health habits. Here is your invitation to choose one pillar to focus on this week.

Physical Pillar

1. Take a walk 1 time this week.
2. Drink 8oz of water daily.
3. Go to bed at a regular time.

Emotional Pillar

1. Name an emotion as you feel it.
2. Acknowledge your emotions.
3. Write about an emotion in a journal.

Mental Pillar

1. Notice your destructive thoughts.
2. Be curious about the thought.
3. Let the thought drift away from your mind (I like washing my hands to get me connected back with my body).

Lifestyle Pillar

1. Say yes to something you really want to do.
2. Say no to something you do not want to do.
3. Plan an activity that is FUN.

Mindfulness Pillar

1. Take a 6-second-deep breath, hold for 6 seconds and let it out for 6 seconds.
2. Smell an essential oil. Put it on your wrist or on your neck.
3. Wash your hands with a soap that you love.

Self-Love Pillar

1. Chose a positive affirmation. “I am here” is a favorite of mine.
2. Find beauty in your surroundings.
3. Tell yourself, I Love You.

Now that you have identified which pillar to work on put your commitment to yourself in your calendar. Even better, include telling a trusted person about it to hold yourself accountable.

Engaging in practicing these pillars is an opportunity to focus on curiosity over judgment.

In the end, here is what you need to know

Increasing your mental health is ongoing and is not something you “arrive at.”

It takes courage to look at your inner world and make the changes you need for your future.

Start with small, consistent care creates meaningful change over time.

If you are suffering you do not need to go through it alone, consider mental health therapy and counseling.

Kim McLaughlin, LMFT, psychotherapist, speaker, author, and host of the Feed Your Soul with Kim podcast. Kim helps high-achieving women improve their mental health, overcome emotional eating and binge eating, reduce anxiety, and create more joy and fulfillment in their lives. She offers online therapy throughout California and in-person counseling in Roseville, CA.

Schedule a free 20-minute consultation here. https://kim-mclaughlin.clientsecure.me/