It is time to end dieting as a New Year’s Resolution. I know that contradicts what you normally hear this time of year.
We have bought into the idea that we need to diet (restrict) come the first of the year. Start dieting and exercise are the top 2 resolutions AND the top 2 failed resolutions.
When we look at New Year’s resolutions, consider that there is this cultural norm, this really kind of shared idea, at least in the United States.
I have noticed every January the gym becomes packed with people starting their dieting. I also remember the diet facilities I attended would be packed with people come January 1.
Come March 1 it would be back to normal. I have read statistics that only 9% of people keep their New Year’s Resolution.
Why don’t New Year’s Resolutions work?
First, they’re based on what you think you should do. There is this socially accepted idea that at the beginning of the year you should have a resolution.
Second is they make you want what you don’t have. Focusing on what we don’t have (thinner body) and what we lack, then that’s what shows up is things that we don’t have and the things that we lack.
Third, New Year’s Resolutions are poorly worded and unattainable.
Lastly, resolutions look for an easy answer. It looks for just kind of what’s the simple thing or what’s the kind of “easy.” There is no easy way to make changes. Going on a diet is not easy and it is not long-term successful.
It is not surprising that dieting at the new year is the most common New Year’s Resolution. We overeat and indulge over the holidays and then “pay the price for it” by dieting come January 1. It is a process of feast and famine.
We were “bad” over the holidays and need to be “good” at the start of the year. This process engages us in the cycle of diet/restrict- binge/overeat- shame/feel bad about ourselves. We are setting ourselves up to eventually overeat.
A part of the problem is the diet industry itself.
The diet industry is a multibillion-dollar industry. I have read different statistics of the money they make, and it is $58 Billion and above and the money they make increases ever year.
The diet industry is a failed industry. They make money because we do not lose weight and keep it off. We have all bought into the idea that if we just found the right diet or did it correctly, we would be thin.
We think that we are not ok. We need to be “healthy” and that is only be being thinner. If we were thinner, we would be healthy, attractive, in partnership, and I could go on and on.
Over the long term 80 to 95% of diets fail whereby the person gains back the weight and then some. I and people I know have experienced exactly this.
We have learned that if we gain back the weight, which is a product of dieting (diet/binge/shame cycle) we need to find the next diet. We are told and tell ourselves it is our fault. We have taken on this shame message that we are at fault. Remember the diet industry makes money off us feeling bad and unworthy.
Here are some ideas for a different plan rather than dieting.
Listen to your body’s needs.
What is it your body wants? Using Intuitive Eating we focus on getting back in touch with your body and what it needs.
What is your body asking for? Is it asking for sleep? Is asking for water? Or is it time to take a walk, get some movement in? Is it time to have conversations and get some kind of camaraderie going on? Give your body what it needs.
Listen to your body’s physical hunger. Notice what it feels like to be physically hungry and satisfied. You might not know, yet, what it feels like to be gently hungry and satisfied.
The ideas about food, dieting and New Year’s Resolutions might be new for you. Just take them in. It might be hard to consider some or try all of the ideas presented here. Take a deep breath and see which idea you might like to look at first. You are worthy of being supported in this process and allow yourself to look at your relationship to dieting.
Truth be told I always get scared before I take a trip. I feel a little embarrassed to say this. It is something I don’t talk about much.
My worries are many like:
Will I be late?
Did I forget something?
Will I make my connecting flight?
Seems no matter how many times I have traveled, there seems to be no way around it.
I told my husband about my fear the other day and he said it happens to him, too. That helped.
What I have learned is, I have to feel the fear and do it anyway.
The other part of the fear is I am traveling to a state of the art facility to make a promotional video.
I have a script, new clothes and a winning mindset (with a bit of fear). I got this!
What are your fears? How do you manage them? Email me your ideas
P.S. We are moving my Emotional Eating Solutions program to a new platform. I just saw the mock up and it looks so sleek and it’s much more user friendly! Those of you who have the program, don’t worry, we will give you first access to the course on the new platform. I’ll keep you updated.
After blogging and podcasting about journaling as a wellness tool, I started to journal more! I find that when I start to talk about a tool, I tend to use them more myself.
The technique I spoke about was a favorite journaling tool called Morning Pages.
I learned about this tool years ago through the work of Julia Cameron in her book The Artist Way she describes one of her daily practices called The Morning Pages.
Here are some basic tenants to the practice:
Write in your journal daily.
Write 3 pages in your journal.
Handwritten journaling, no computer
Write upon waking, in the morning.
Write without stopping: no cross outs, no need for accurate punctuation, just keep the pen moving.
Today, I want to talk about another journaling practice that I love which is more of a creative writing process that I learned from writing retreats that I have taken with Laura Davis. Laura is an extraordinary writer and cowrote the seminal book on childhood sexual abuse called The Courage to Heal.
Here are some writing guidelines that I learned from retreats with Laura and from other sources:
Here are some ways to get started:
First, your journal does not have to be pretty. I have been known to buy very inexpensive spiral bound journals at the local store. I like them because they are spiral bound, and I can turn the pages easily. This is important to me, because I like to write with one page in front of me and these journals fold into one side. I have a harder time journaling on a hard bound journal where the two sides are open.
Second, keep your inner thinking private. I make it clear to my family that my journal is private and they do not open it. I want to be able to put out all that I am thinking, and I do not want to have to temper what I say. This is not a journal that I plan to share with others.
Thirdly, set a really small reasonable period of time to write, 10 minutes, everyone has 10 extra minutes. Laura Davis introduced me to the 10-minute writing idea. It is a short period of time and you really can express A LOT in that amount of time. She also encouraged us to keep the pen moving and keep writing.
Lastly, you do not need to share everything you write with friends, spouse or family. This is your private inner life that does not, necessarily need to be shared.
One of the greatest gifts I received from my writing retreats with Laura Davis was learning to just write the worst crap ever written. I found that was so freeing and my number one rule when I write in my journal.
I find that writing allows me access to the deeper and positive parts of myself.
One technique that Laura taught was journaling through answering a question. The idea is you take one question and answer it until nothing else come to you. Then you start a new paragraph and write the question again and answer it until nothing else comes. Then you write the question again and keep writing until nothing else comes to you.
This pattern of answering the question on different paragraphs took me to a deeper level of myself.
Here are some examples of questions you could use in your journaling:
I feel most free when I…
I am most afraid…
My fears keep me from…
I love myself most when I…
My childhood kitchen was…
This type of journaling is different than others and brings up greater self-awareness, which for me is why I journal.
Once I got over the idea that my writing had to be written with others in mind, I felt freer to just write and explore what was inside of me. I encourage you to try this style of journaling and see what it does for you.
Could you use more happiness? Is there actually a way to be happier? In Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project, she challenges us to look at happiness and see what we can do to boost it. Gretchen engages her readers in different concepts each month to build a stronger foundation of happiness.
This week we are looking at finding happiness for the month of February and we are focusing on love. You do not have to be in a marriage or intimate relationship to listen to this podcast, because we cover all forms of relationships: work, home, school, neighborhood and friendships.
Her happiness project is fun and helps us explore the idea of happiness and how to increase it.
Kim McLaughlin M.A. is a counselor and a motivational coach working with people who engage in emotional eating or binge eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. If you are in need of services contact Kim McLaughlin here.
Kim is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul; Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food. Learn more about her book here.
Kim McLaughlin has been identified as writing one of the Top 50 Blogs about Emotional Eating by the Institute on Emotional Eating. Sign up for her free Special Report: Top Strategies to End Binge Eatinghere or visit her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
I had the pleasure of being interviewed by my friend Michelle Warnica, on her New You for a New Decade Summit, about my story with food, dieting and mindset. This conversation is a must listen to for a greater understanding about emotional eating, intuitive eating and feeding your soul.
I think you will find our conversation interesting and I love Michelle’s questions to help us look at food differently. You can find Michelle in her Facebook Group, Creating Your Blissful Life … https://www.facebook.com/groups/CreatingYourBlissfulLife
I found myself sharing a lot of stories about my history with food and dieting that will, I think, resonate with you. We discuss how life is too short to eat crappy food. In addition, we have many suggestions for entering into intuitive eating.
Join us on the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast as we discuss:
3 ways intuitive eating has changed my life (and could change yours).
What happens after intuitive eating?
4 things to do NOW if you are struggling with your weight.
Learn what I do to feed my soul.
Kim McLaughlin M.A. is a counselor and a motivational coach working with people who engage in emotional eating or binge eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. If you are in need of services contact Kim McLaughlin here.Kim is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul; Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food. Learn more about her book here.Kim McLaughlin has been identified as writing one of the Top 50 Blogs about Emotional Eating by the Institute on Emotional Eating. Sign up for her free Special Report: Top Strategies to End Binge Eatinghere or visit her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
At the end of every year I like to reflect and consider what has happened during the previous year. I get excited to spend some private time looking at my calendar, my journal and pictures to piece together my take away for the year. Each year’s reflection looks different and this year is no exception. Some years I write long journal entries about the previous year or I reflect in my mind or with a trusted friend about what I saw as the ups and downs of my life. No matter which method I chose I like to end the year considering what worked and what didn’t. This reflection of the previous year can focus on several aspects of my life or a few. Some areas of my life I explore are:
Self
Family/Friends
Work/Education
Creative
Spiritual
Home
Money/Finances
I examine each of these areas and determine if there is something that I need to release and change so I don’t continue it into the New Year. Or I see if there is an area that I want to focus and do more of in the New Year. Ending the old year in this way gives me the ability to start new in the next year. For me, this is a time to start fresh. When considering what the past year has meant you could think about these questions:
What was the general theme for this past year?
If you use one to three words to guide your year, as I do- what happened?
Is there a word that reflects what you want to bring into the New Year?
Using the above questions can be helpful at the end the year, so you can get some perspective regarding where you are now and for preparing a foundation for something new ahead.
I am excited for the potential of this New Year and hope you are too. How do you plan to let go of the old year? Let us know below.
If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review for others to find us and share this podcast with a friend.
Kim McLaughlin M.A. is a counselor and a motivational coach working with people who engage in emotional eating or binge eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. If you are in need of services contact Kim McLaughlin here.
Kim is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul; Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food. Learn more about her book here.
Kim McLaughlin has been identified as writing one of the Top 50 Blogs about Emotional Eating by the Institute on Emotional Eating. Sign up for her free Special Report: Top Strategies to End Binge Eatinghere or visit her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
Could you use more happiness? Is there actually a way to be happier? In Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project, she challenges us to look at happiness and see what we can do to boost it. Gretchen engages her readers in different concepts each month to build a stronger foundation of happiness.
