This is the second blog in a series focused on Food Freedom. The first in our series looked at the Diet Mindset and how it sets you up for failure. 

In talking about Emotional Eating, it is helpful to determine if you are one. Right? 

Here are some definitions to help you determine is you are an emotional eater:

1. Do you eat when you are not hungry?
2. Are you using food to make you feel good?
3. Do you use food in situations where you feel uncomfortable?
4. Are you eating too overfull?
5. Do you feel ashamed when you overeat? 
6. Do you feel bad about your body?

Each of these by themselves occasionally, is probably not something to be too concerned about. But really reflect on whether these questions fit for you AND how often AND do you feel upset with your eating habits.

Yes, sometimes we all overeat, and we eat for emotional reasons. Food tastes good and it is a primary need. If the way you eat causes you a problem, then it probably is a problem.

Eating should make you feel good, not bad.

Emotional eating means you are not dealing with emotions in a way that will fix the problem. The food can help emotions temporarily, but it is not the fix. Emotions need to be dealt with so there is a resolution. When food is used as the resolutions for emotions, the emotions aren’t settled: truthfully it will exacerbate the emotions. 

Identifying the problem can lead you to ask the question what should I do? 

First, you must notice you are eating for emotional reasons. Start to pay attention to your eating and if you are meeting the above criteria, begin to look deeper at what is going on. 

Second, acknowledge that you have a problem with emotional eating. There is a lot of healing that can come from the acknowledgment, because THEN you can do something about it (besides the continual diet). 

Third, start to identify your feelings. Some easy labels for feelings are sad, mad, happy, anxious, bored, lonely, and tired. Giving them a name helps you to move forward. 

Fourth, ask what those emotions are trying to tell you. I know that can sound odd, but there is a voice to our feelings, and they are there to give us information about what is going on inside of us. Give a try and ask you feelings to tell you what you need to know. 

Fifth, follow the advice of the feelings. Generally, the feelings tell me when I am out of balance and depending on the feeling, I can be steered to what I need to do to take care of the emotion. I like the concept of the Wellness Toolbox where I have a variety of ways to take care of feelings like journaling, walking, talking to a supportive person or meditation. 

You are getting a start at determining how emotional eating affects you. GOOD JOB. Next is to keep the movement going. Dealing with your emotions is one way to get food freedom. If you want more help, I suggest you join my Emotional Eating Solutions 8-week self-study. In this course you will learn about the 6 components we need to look at to address your emotional eating:

1. Physical 
2. Emotional 
3. Mental
4. Lifestyle
5. Mindfulness 
6. Self-Love

All these components need to be addressed to finally have freedom with food. Remember the problem with food has been there for a long time (often since childhood) will not just go away AND diets make it worse. You need to have a plan to address all 6 components AND how they interact with each other.

Kim McLaughlin is a psychotherapist, coach, podcaster, and author. She helps people who are struggling with overeating and emotional eating. You can find out more at www.FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com

This blog is based on a Food Freedom Facebook Live where we went into depth about emotional eating. You can access the video here.

This blog is the first in a series of three focused on Food Freedom. To start the series, we are talking about the diet mindset, because we need to explore why you diet and how diets have affected you AND failed you. 

First, let’s start with the facts

 It is predicted that the Global market for the weight loss industry will grow from $254.9 billion in 2021 to $377.3 billion by 2026.

We have all be trained that the only option to deal with overeating and weight concerns is dieting. That is the consistent message we have all heard since childhood. Many families by into this concept and put their children and teens on a diet, which is a predictor for eating disorders for those who are predisposed to eating disorders. 

We are sold weight loss products at an alarmin rate. They are heavily marketed at the first of the year and prior to summer aka “bikini season.” We are told by the weight loss industry that we are not ok at the size we are and that we need to lose weight to be “healthy.” There is imagery that people who are thin are happy and people who are overweight are sad and lonely.  We have been sold a bill of goods- literally.

The diet mindset has been planted in use at a young age and it is pervasive throughout our lives unless we combat it. 

1. We think we need to be a certain size.
2. Society teaches us that we cannot accept our bodies except if we are thin. 
3. There is a scale driven mindset where we must have a certain number on the scale to think that we are good enough or desirable. 

What do we know about diets?

• First, they focus on deprivation. There are forbidden foods, and we want what we cannot have.
• Second, diets make us focus on food all the time.
• Third, diets lead us to see food as good or bad. 

How can you ditch the diet? 

1. Ask yourself, what is dieting to me? Is it a constant focus on food, scale and what I can’t have?
2. Are you focused on your weight?
3. Learn to eat intuitively.

It takes time and support to ditch the diet mindset, because it is so pervasive in our culture. Be sure to get in a community where others are focused on letting go of the diet mindset AND give yourself the opportunity to learn about intuitive eating to let go of dieting. This is put you in step with a process that will lead to food freedom.

Kim McLaughlin is a psychotherapist, coach, podcaster, and author. She helps people who are struggling with overeating and emotional eating. You can find out more at www.FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com

This blog is based on a Food Freedom Facebook Live where we went into depth about emotional eating. You can access the video here.

What is the most important love?

Self-love is the most important kind of love available. We often look at love of a partner, family and friends AND leave out the most important person= YOU.

I wrote a whole chapter about Self-Love in my book: Feed Your Soul; Nourish Your Body!
A Six Step System to Peace with Food. Self-Love is one important component in making peace with food. When you have food issues, partly we being to think so negatively about ourselves. Focusing time and effort on self-love helps with food issues.
Being loving is not always present in our society today. There is a lot of negativity all around. I noticed so much more with the rise of the internet and the rise of unfiltered comments.

Isn’t Self-Love selfish? 

We are primed to not value being loving to ourselves, and it can be considered selfish. We often tend to overlook self-love for fear of being selfish. As I stated above, self-love is the most important kind of love.

Why is self-love so important? 

There are different aspects to consider at when we look at Self-Love:

1. Self-Esteem- which is how you feel about yourself. Your sense of value and good feelings about yourself.
2. Self-Worth- which is how you see your value in the world. Do you think you have a right to exist? This is such a difficult concept, especially when we have food and weight issues.
3. Body Image- how do you feel about your body? Do you think you are ugly, not worthy and thinking you take up took much space?

When we are in alignment with our self-esteem, self-worth, and positive body image- it is easier to love ourselves. When we have disordered eating or binge eating, we can feel horrible about ourselves AND our bodies. This feeling keeps us stuck in the negativity. Without self-love there is not a way out of this spiral downward. More than anything focus on increasing your self-love and your feeling about yourself and your eating will balance out. 

5 ways to engage in Self-Love: 

1. Start and end the day by saying something positive to yourself. This sets up your mind and spirit for the positive. You can do it more often during the day for a greater effect.
2.  Stop judgment of yourself and others. There is a lot of danger in comparing ourselves to others. If it is not uplifting and it brings you down. It does not matter what anyone else does if it is uplifting to you. 
3. Be at peace in your mind. How do you think about yourself? How much to you ruminate on what is going wrong and what is bad? Critical thoughts of yourself and others. Peace can come in so many ways- I like to journal those thoughts, I like conscious journaling (morning pages) which frees my mind daily from all the chaos.
4. Say no to people, places, and things you need to say no to. Is there chaos around you? People who are not kind to you? Self-love means I invite people to be with me that are kind and loving to me. I can be more loving to myself when I surround myself with loving people. Remember before when we talked about the negativity on the internet and especially social media. Consider saying no to negative people who fill your feed with toxic statements. I have let go of many people on social media who just talk cruelly about others. I think it is ok to hear other opinions on social media, but not toxic statements. 
5. Notice the negative statements you make about yourself. Consider how you would talk to your child, niece, or nephew- a cherished child. Think of yourself as that cherished child. Tell that child side of yourself how great they are.

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor, Speaker, Podcaster, and Inspirational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration. 

You can hear Kim talk more on this topic on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms. 

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.