Anti-Diet Revolution

Anti-Diet Revolution

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Having an Anti-Diet Revolution is a pretty bold statement and desire. I have been on a mission to help people make peace with food and their bodies for years. I use intuitive eating as the framework to guide my clients to success.

There is this societal norm that we are supposed to want to be “healthy” and thin and the only way to get there is to go on a diet. We have agreed that the only way to get to thinness and “health” is through dieting.

Why have we all bought into the idea that “health” and thinness is our goal? We have been sold to by the LARGE corporations that make a lot of money (hello 60+Billion-dollar industry) off us failing.

I have many examples of going on the same diet over and over expecting a different result. I look back and wonder why in the world I did that. I am not stupid. I now see that I bought into the idea of what my body should look like, and I needed eat differently to make it right.

I bought into the idea that something was wrong with me, because of my size. The problem is the way I tried to fix my weight was by dieting.

Dieting does not accomplish what they say it will. It does not equal health.

There is an inherent harm in dieting, because it is focused on the external: what you eat and how much you weigh. Diets do not address why you overeat, why you binge, why you are obsess with food and can’t stop eating. Dieting leads to deprivation which leads you back to binging and the cycle starts up again.

If dieting is not the answer to overeating, what is?

Intuitive Eating is the way to move out of dieting and into a place of peace with food.

Imaging being able to notice when you are hungry and make decisions about what you shall eat easily. Your decision is not based on some system where you must track how much you eat. Eating the food and enjoying it. Noticing when you are satisfied and stop eating. Feeling energized with the food you eat. Getting a rhythm with food where you have a sense of what foods you like, what you do not like. Feeling empowered to eat what you want and not overanalyze it. Being able to determine what are your right foods that fit well with your body. There is no obsession with food. You can enjoy what you eat and if you eat beyond fullness you are able to course correct.

What does it take to be an intuitive eater?

  1. Notice when you are hungry.
  2. Notice what are the foods that satisfy you and give you the energy you need.
  3. Eat when you are hungry and before you are overly hungry.
  4. Stop when you are satisfied or gently full.
  5. Allow yourself to eat the foods you really want.
  6. Notice feelings that are causing you concern and take care of them.
  7. Engage in self-care and self-love.
  8. Notice thoughts that are negative and have ways to deal with them.
  9. Have a mindfulness practice that is soothing.
  10. Engage in movement that is right for you.

It takes time and energy to embrace intuitive eating and it will be the best thing you can do for yourself.

To move towards Intuitive eating, we are going to have the Anti-Diet Revolution. What is the Anti-Diet Revolution? We look at diet, diet culture and how YOU have been led astray.

We cannot end at ending dieting. What will you do instead?

  • Have a way to measure hunger and fullness. This is a simple and profound practice that takes guess work out of eating.
  • Determine what leads you to overeat.
  • Have action plan for your self-care that REALLY work.
  • Be in a place where others understand what you are experiencing, and you feel in community.

Join us for the Anti-Diet Revolution starting soon. Sign up now to get access to this free series to help you move out of dieting and into a plan of action that works.

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.

End Dieting as a New Year’s Resolution

End Dieting as a New Year’s Resolution

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It is time to end dieting as a New Year’s Resolution. I know that contradicts what you normally hear this time of year.

We have bought into the idea that we need to diet (restrict) come the first of the year. Start dieting and exercise are the top 2 resolutions AND the top 2 failed resolutions.

When we look at New Year’s resolutions, consider that there is this cultural norm, this really kind of shared idea, at least in the United States.

I have noticed every January the gym becomes packed with people starting their dieting. I also remember the diet facilities I attended would be packed with people come January 1.

Come March 1 it would be back to normal. I have read statistics that only 9% of people keep their New Year’s Resolution.

Why don’t New Year’s Resolutions work?

First, they’re based on what you think you should do. There is this socially accepted idea that at the beginning of the year you should have a resolution.

Second is they make you want what you don’t have. Focusing on what we don’t have (thinner body) and what we lack, then that’s what shows up is things that we don’t have and the things that we lack.

Third, New Year’s Resolutions are poorly worded and unattainable.

Lastly, resolutions look for an easy answer. It looks for just kind of what’s the simple thing or what’s the kind of “easy.” There is no easy way to make changes. Going on a diet is not easy and it is not long-term successful.

It is not surprising that dieting at the new year is the most common New Year’s Resolution. We overeat and indulge over the holidays and then “pay the price for it” by dieting come January 1. It is a process of feast and famine.

We were “bad” over the holidays and need to be “good” at the start of the year. This process engages us in the cycle of diet/restrict- binge/overeat- shame/feel bad about ourselves. We are setting ourselves up to eventually overeat.

A part of the problem is the diet industry itself.

The diet industry is a multibillion-dollar industry. I have read different statistics of the money they make, and it is $58 Billion and above and the money they make increases ever year.

The diet industry is a failed industry. They make money because we do not lose weight and keep it off. We have all bought into the idea that if we just found the right diet or did it correctly, we would be thin.

We think that we are not ok. We need to be “healthy” and that is only be being thinner. If we were thinner, we would be healthy, attractive, in partnership, and I could go on and on.

Over the long term 80 to 95% of diets fail whereby the person gains back the weight and then some. I and people I know have experienced exactly this.

We have learned that if we gain back the weight, which is a product of dieting (diet/binge/shame cycle) we need to find the next diet. We are told and tell ourselves it is our fault. We have taken on this shame message that we are at fault. Remember the diet industry makes money off us feeling bad and unworthy.

Here are some ideas for a different plan rather than dieting.

Listen to your body’s needs.

  1. What is it your body wants? Using Intuitive Eating we focus on getting back in touch with your body and what it needs.
  2. What is your body asking for? Is it asking for sleep? Is asking for water? Or is it time to take a walk, get some movement in? Is it time to have conversations and get some kind of camaraderie going on? Give your body what it needs.
  3. Listen to your body’s physical hunger. Notice what it feels like to be physically hungry and satisfied. You might not know, yet, what it feels like to be gently hungry and satisfied.

The ideas about food, dieting and New Year’s Resolutions might be new for you. Just take them in. It might be hard to consider some or try all of the ideas presented here. Take a deep breath and see which idea you might like to look at first. You are worthy of being supported in this process and allow yourself to look at your relationship to dieting.

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.

Speaking of Fear

Speaking of Fear

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You would think since I am a public speaker AND a podcaster, speaking in public would not be a fear of mine. But it is!

I speak all the time with people one to one, in small to large groups, but speaking on stage can be tough.

I recently traveled by plane from Northern California to Grand Rapids Michigan. I had signed up a few years ago to attend a 4-day Speaker Intensive. I knew we would be learning about speaking on stage, writing our speech, and speaking on a large stage to an audience while being videotaped. 

My fears were exacerbated by the amount of travel, being in a new city where I did not know anyone AND speaking on stage. I arrived a day early to be able to get used to the time change and get settled before the speaker conference started. On that day before the conference, I noticed my fear increasing leading to me not wanting to get out of bed. I thought over and over about speaking on stage and wondered why I spent good money to travel, stay in a hotel and attend the speaker conference. I noticed my anxiety was moving up from 1 to 2 to 3 building up to getting closer to a 10. I knew I either had to get out of this mindset or I would sabotage my ability to function at the speaker conference.

I am a psychotherapist by training, and I have seen and helped many people with their fears, anxiety, and panic. I was able to notice the fear and anxiety were turning into panic before I got anywhere near being on stage. I knew that I need to lower my panic before it got too high. I was really committed to the process of being on stage and getting that speaking video done.

I used some tried and true techniques that always work for me and my clients: 

  • Notice and name the fear. 

I realized that my fear was not about speaking on stage, it was about being judged. I knew we were going to be videotaped and that meant the judgement could be eternal (me included).

I was also afraid since I was going out of my comfort zone. I was in a new city/state, with people I did not know and having to write and speak on stage. 

  • Decide to move through the fear.

I decided that I signed up for and paid for this trip and this conference and I was going to take full advantage of it. I had put on my bucket list I wanted to attend a live conference where I learned all of the ins and out of speaking on stage. 

  • It was ok to say I did not want to stay. 

I gave myself an out, I could leave, if I wanted to. But I would have to leave that first day before the conference started. I was either going to be all in or all out. 

  • After moving through the fear, I needed to be all in.

Giving myself the out to leave, helped take the pressure off and I could commit to stay and be all in.

  • Get up and move around.

As I laid in bed that first day, I noticed my head chattering with lots of negativity. I knew if I did not get up and move around, I would keep focused on the negativity. 

  • Center myself as often as possible: pray and meditate.

I came back to my breath often. I came back inside of my body. When I focus in my body and on my breath, I calm down. 

  • Eat good nourishing food.

After I got up out of bed, I went out and walked to Trader Joes and got my food for the week. I knew we would be in the conference 9am to 9pm and I wanted to have food that I usually eat, so I would feel my best. 

  • Drink lots of water.

I like coffee and noticed mid-morning my anxiety would increase and I saw that I needed to add more water to not focus on caffeine. 

  • Notice the thoughts and reframe them.

It is critical to notice what you are thinking. I had so many negative thoughts running through my head, which increased my anxiety and sense of panic. I noticed the thought and asked myself, “Is this true?” It never was true. The more I allow the negative thoughts in my head to bulldoze forward, the less effective I am in my life. 

  • Sleep and rest. 

I was at a 4-day conference from 9-9 in a new city, a new bed, with new people. I knew it was critical to get the rest and sleep I needed to be really on my A game. It worked. 

In the end, after the video was shot, I felt victorious. I congratulated myself for a job well done. I feel grateful to have tools to help me move through difficult and challenging experiences.  

You might not be planning to speak on stage, but consider what is your metaphorical big stage that you feel afraid to go out on? Try out these techniques to see what works for you. I don’t want to let fear stop me from doing something important. I know that when I have an inner desire to do something, I need to listen. If the fear comes up, I need to address that fear. 

Want to watch my talk? Click here to see it.

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor, Speaker, Podcaster, and Inspirational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms. 

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz. 

Summer Bucket List: Self-Care

Summer Bucket List: Self-Care

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When my daughter was in preschool, she came home with a paper listing 100 items for a “Summer Bucket List.” The paper proclaimed it had 100 fun things to do before summer kicks the bucket. 

This list had many items on it that were associated with summer: 

  1. Swim until dark. 
  2. Walk on the beach.  
  3. Have breakfast for dinner. 

I had heard of a bucket list as being kind of morbid related to what you want to do before you die. It had never occurred to me that it could be expanded to a list you want to do over the summer. 

I looked at that list for a while and decide to make my own Summer Bucket List for me and my family. Now each summer we discuss what activities we want to do. I have learned that the only way to get these kinds of activities on the calendar is to write them down AND put them in the calendar. What is not on the calendar does not seem to get done. 

I like the idea and opportunity this gives us to be creative and ask for what we want over the summer. This list is fluid and can expand or contract as needed. 

This Summer Bucket List is so fun and gets me and my family really thinking about what we each want over the summer. 

I love the Summer Bucket List, because it does not require you to spend any money, unless you want to.

What do you REALLY want to do this summer? 

Each summer I ask clients what they have planned for the summer. Often, they say they do not have much planned. Planning to do something fun IS self-care. The summer is the best time to focus on you and what you want. 

I find it is a time of connection with my family, too, to hear what they want to do over the summer. Sometimes the plans are as a family and sometimes the plans are alone or with others. 

 This summer is a great opportunity to put yourself first and make that list. Have you thought about what fun activities you can do over this summer?

This summer put yourself first on the list. 

Here are some strategies to start your Summer Bucket List. I suggest you spend 15-30 minutes contemplating the below questions.

  • What do you like to do AND have not done in a while?
  • What did you like to do as a child during the summer? 
  • What have never done, but really want to do.
  • What have you been afraid to do but really want to do?
  • What would give you pleasure? 
  • Use the Summer Bucket List to keep track of what you plan to do. 
  • First write down what you plan to do over the summer. 
  • Set up dates in your calendar to do them. 
  • Cross them off when you accomplished them. 
  • Remember to keep extra spaces on your list to add through the summer.

Enjoying the summer season is just good for you.

Join me this summer and create your Summer Bucket List (download here). Join me in the Feed Your Soul Community Facebook Group where we will support each other to make AND use our Summer Bucket List. Being in community can be the best way to get inspiration and accountability to get your self-care moving forward. 

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor, Speaker, Podcaster, and Inspirational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms. 

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz. 

Increase your confidence: an interview with Ebony Moore, Confidence Coach

Increase your confidence: an interview with Ebony Moore, Confidence Coach

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I had the opportunity to have a conversation with Ebony Moore for the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast about confidence. We had met earlier when I was a guest on her podcast BossWife.live.

Ebony talks about confidence through the lens of modeling. She started modeling when she was 12 and now owns a modeling studio.

She talks about starting at Barbizon one of the big top modeling studios. They liked her and wanted to work with her, but they had two options for her: 

  1. She could shave all her my hair off (she was a teen!). Because she always wears her hair towards her face, and she was told it makes her nose look bigger. 
  2. She could get a nose job (she was a teen!). 

Can you image being a teen and told you either needed to shave your hair or get a nose job? She chose neither and started modeling locally. As she started to model locally opportunities began to open in New York, Chicago, and Atlanta. This led to greater self-esteem. 

After getting married at 18 years old she started to have kids and her confidence “took this huge blow, because she had gained weight.” She says she felt like she was “nothing” and her whole identity was wrapped up in her size. 

Ebony acknowledges, “I definitely misplaced my identity, I didn’t lose it, I just misplaced it.” She gave up hope. 

“I felt like my body was just unacceptable, because when you’re not supposed to be overweight.”  Ebony Moore

She started to focus on getting up and getting herself ready and going out. Not staying isolated. Getting up and out helped move her into more confidence. But the change came when she changed her thoughts about herself. 

“It was definitely all mental.” Ebony Moore

Ebony saw how focused we can be on how our bodies look and we lose track of who we really are. We can tend to think who we are is the size and perception of our body.  

How do you move into feeling more confident? 

Start noticing others (ebony noticed it in her kids) experiencing joy in their bodies. 

“I wanted them to know, regardless of who you are, what you like, what your nose looks like, what your hair looks like, you are freaking amazing. Like nobody else in this world looks like you. Watching my children helped me to rebuild my confidence.”

Ebony Moore

Kids can have natural confidence that adults have lost. Ebony talks about noticing the confidence in her kids and the kids in her modeling studio. She saw that she had to give that confidence to herself and then to others. 

Mirror work as a method of confidence building.

In confidence building using the concept of reflecting can be powerful. Ebony does what she calls “mirror sessions” where it’s just you in the mirror. It’s just you, looking back at you. You kind of talk to that person who you used to be.  

Using the mirror to really look at yourself and be ok with yourself. 

Here is her method: 

  • First, get in front of the mirror.
  • Second, look at yourself without make up.
  • Third, look at every mole, every hair that’s out of place, every hair on your chin. What do you like about your ear lobes? Look at your skin, notice the color. 
  • Fourth, take a deep breath and appreciate the beauty of you.  

Love yourself the way you are because that’s who that’s what people are attracted to. People are attracted to you. 

Use mirror work to increase confidence? 

  • First, remind yourself of who you used to be. 
  • Second, imagine going back to being a child. Remember that child-like love for yourself? 
  • Third, what was it about yourself that you loved the most, whether it was your eyes, whether it was your hair, your nose, your lips, whatever your skin color, the shape of your face, that’s the person you need to remember. 
  • Lastly, fast forward to now, what has changed? Recognize that you are the same person. Reconnect with that love for yourself. 

Now that you have reconnected with your true self, ask yourself, “How do I need to be there for me today?” We know you will be there for everybody else. How you need me to be there for you?

We put out the caring for others, but how are you showing up for yourself? 

When we start looking at ourselves in this way we are moving beyond confidence into “Who am I?” This way of looking at ourselves becomes spiritual, and, and mindful. 

How do you increase confidence daily?

Ebony recommends you send yourself an automatic text message daily to encourage yourself. 

Some of her confidence texts are: 

  1. Ebony, how can I be here for you today? 
  2.  Ebony, I need you to be strong for me today. 
  3. Ebony. I need for you to go the extra mile for me today.

Ebony recommends you can open the text at various times of the day to bring yourself back into that place of confidence. 

Increased confidence is a game changer in life. Try some of her tips and let us know how it works in the comments below. 

Check out my recent podcast with Ebony Moore and learn more about her confidence coaching and modeling studio at: 

www.Bosswife.live

www.purposefulthinking360.com

www.enchantedreflectionsstudio.com

https://spreaker.page.link/pW9szrANrXs3Yc2E8

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ebony-moore-1ba58984/

 

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor, Speaker, Podcaster, and Inspirational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms. 

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz. 

Food Freedom: Mindfulness

Food Freedom: Mindfulness

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Today, I want to really focus more in on what it means in our body and in our mind to be mindful what that would look like. 

Why would we want to be mindful? 

Being mindful/mindfulness is one of the best ways to reduce stress. 

The other thing that mindfulness does is it increases our ability to be an intuitive eater. Intuitive eating allows us to move off the diet and into being present in our bodies: to eat from that inner knowing. 

Mindfulness increases intuitive eating. 

It is critical that we are more mindful so we can increase intuitive eating. We are then in our body when I when we eat, we’re more in our body to notice if we’re hungry to notice if we’re full to notice if we’re distracted to notice it for uncomfortable. 

Mindless eating takes us out of our bodies. 

I have learned from countless clients and my own personal experience is when we are mindlessly eating, it is being like outside of our body. We are not fully present in our bodies, we’re not fully embodied, and we’re outside of our body. 

When we’re outside of our body mindlessly eating, that is when we’re not paying attention to:

  1. Whether we’re hungry.
  2. Whether we’re full. 
  3. Whether we need to stop.
  4. We eat fast. 
  5. We don’t taste our food.  

Since we’re focused outside of our body, mindlessly eating, we’re not focused on those internal cues that tell us it’s time to stop. We want to eat intuitively. Remember, children know how to eat intuitively. Children know when they’re hungry. Children know when they’re full. Small children will close their mouths when they are physically full. They will not eat more than what their body needs. 

When my daughter was younger when she was full, she would say my tummy says no more. She just knew her physical signals. 

Mindfulness is one of the best ways to get us back in touch with our body, so we can intuitively eat. It creates a sense of peace in our bodies. Mindfulness helps us beyond intuitive eating. 

I started at the first of January doing a mindfulness practice every day. It’s a short like practice that I do every day. My ability to manage my life, my ability to manage stress, my ability to just know what to do has been increased exponentially. My big why of why I am mindful is to have peace in my body, and peace in my life, peace in how I react to everybody. 

How do you become more mindful? 

You might not want to do a daily mindful practice, like I’ve been doing. But you need to start somewhere. 

First, you can be more mindful during your meals. 

  1. Sit at the table. 
  2. Don’t eat while you are driving. 
  3. Don’t eat while you are distracted. 
  4. Sitting down while you eat. 
  5. Eat at the table. To me it just reminds me that I am here to feed my body.

Second, you can have a more mindful connection to your food. I like to remember that I am here to fuel my body. Chew your food well. Taste it, savor it. 

Third, feel in touch with your body as you eat. Take time to notice if you are satisfied with the food. Are you still hungry? It’s a radical concept to be in touch with your body while you’re eating while you’re eating. 

I encourage you to practice these mindful techniques. 

Because if you’re like me, I come to the table about three times a day, I come to the table and sit and eat like literally and figuratively. So, you have three times a day (at least) to practicing mindfulness. Literally just get a plate of food, sit at the table, notice yourself seated, take a deep breath, and take a bite of food, put your fork down after each bite.  

Mindfulness is about being in touch with your body. 

Another mindfulness tool that I love that we don’t talk about much when we talk about much is movement. I find that some of my most mindful times are when I am in some kind of movement. Mindful movement can get in you in touch with your body in a way other actions cannot. 

I like to call it mindful movement. I resist using the term exercise, since for me and my clients that goes along with dieting. Exercise is for losing weight. Movement is for being in touch with my body and connected to my body.  

Mindful eating and mindful movement are ways to increase overall mindfulness. 

Lastly, there is something you can start right now. 

Focus on your breath 

When you focus on the breath, you’re being mindful, there’s no other way around it. When you focus on breathing in and breathing out. You’re, you’re in your body. Mindfulness is about being fully present. Where you what did we say earlier, it’s the ability to be fully present, and aware of where we are. And what we’re doing, being in the breath, is the best way to be fully present. So that just means breathing in and breathing out. There are a lot you can look up on YouTube, Google different ways to be in the breath. There are so many techniques that I don’t I can’t begin to go through all of them. What I noticed is when I am in the breath, why? How is it mindful for me?

Try it right now, breath in and breath out. What do you feel? Being in the breath is one of the best mindful tools to be fully present in your body. And that’s literally what we’re looking at with mindfulness. 

There’s no prescription about how you reach mindfulness, right? What we’re looking at is being in touch with our body, and in touch with what’s going on mindfulness, right. And when we’re more mindful, we’re going to be mindfully eating, and intuitively eating, which is exactly what you want. 

I encourage you to think of one way you can be mindful today: 

  1. A meal 
  2. A breath
  3. Mindful movement 

Put one of these techniques to the test to increase your mindfulness. Notice how it can help your eating and create more peace in your life.  

 

Kim McLaughlin is a psychotherapist, coach, podcaster, and author. She helps people who are struggling with overeating and emotional eating. You can find out more at www.FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com

This blog is based on a Food Freedom Facebook Live where we went into depth about emotional eating. You can access the video here.