by KimMcLaughlin | Nov 26, 2025 | Holidays, Intuitive Eating
Can You Really Be an Intuitive Eater at Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving and intuitive eating might seem like an unlikely pair. Thanksgiving is known for overflowing plates, endless choices, and the cultural expectation to overeat. Intuitive eating, however, is about listening to your body, honoring hunger and fullness, and approaching food with peace (not pressure).
But here’s the truth:
You can be an intuitive eater at Thanksgiving.
I’ve practiced intuitive eating for years, and I’ve supported clients who successfully enjoy the holiday without guilt, restriction, or bingeing.
If I can do it, so can you.
Why This Season Feels So Hard: The Holiday Trifecta
I call the stretch from October 1 to December 31 the Holiday Trifecta. It’s three full months of parties, sweets, special foods, and pressure to “let loose” with eating, paired with an equally strong expectation to diet/lose weight come January.
This is the binge-restrict cycle, and it isn’t a personal failure. It is a version of our culture that shames you for eating. The holidays amplify this message.
Here’s what happens…
Dieting and restricting throughout the year often lead to overeating during special occasions (any holiday). When we limit foods, they become more tempting. When they eventually show up again—like holiday meals—we naturally want more. This is not a lack of willpower. It’s the predictable backlash of restriction.
Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are one month after the other, which creates a lot of pressure around food. The pressure continues with social and familial expectations.
Intuitive eating offers a different path.
How to Be an Intuitive Eater at Thanksgiving
Here are the practices that support me (and my clients) in feeling grounded, peaceful, and connected at holiday meals:
1. Spend part of the day with movement that feels good
This year I am going to a morning yoga class. Other years, my family participated in a local turkey trot or taking a long walk. It isn’t about earning food or burning calories, it’s simply enjoyable activities. Movement can be part of your holiday if it feels nourishing, not punishing.
I enjoy taking a walk after the Thanksgiving meal. It is a great way to get out of the house and get centered.
2. Eat regular meals all day and don’t “save up” for the Thanksgiving meal
One of the biggest mistakes I see people do is not eat all day, so they can “earn” a big meal later. This can lead you to feeling overly hungry, which is a set up for overeating.
On Thanksgiving day, I eat breakfast and lunch just like any other day. When I arrive at the Thanksgiving table, I’m neither starving nor planning to tightly control myself. I choose foods I genuinely want, serve a portion that feels satisfying, and remind myself I can always go back for more.
And you know what?
After years of intuitive eating, I usually find that my first plate is enough.
3. Tune into Hunger and Fullness
Before eating, I check in with my body:
- Am I hungry and how hungry am I?
- What sounds satisfying?
- How will this food make me feel?
Pay attention to both hunger cues and satiety (fullness) cues. Stopping when I’m comfortably full—not stuffed, not deprived. Listening to my body is a skill, and Thanksgiving is a great time to practice.
I have learned that feeling stuffed afterwards is not an enjoyable physical feeling, so I do what I can to avoid it.
4. Care for your emotions
Food isn’t the only challenge at Thanksgiving. Emotions can run high: family dynamics, stress, overstimulation, or expectations can be overwhelming.
I always create a plan to address my emotions ahead of time. My plan often involves:
- Taking a short walk
- Switching conversations
- Taking a few deep breaths
- Stepping outside for quiet
- Finding someone supportive to chat with
Emotional care helps prevent turning to food as the only coping tool.
Think about what you may need emotionally this year and give yourself permission to honor those needs.
Holiday Foods Aren’t Special-Unless We Make Them Special
A big driver of holiday overeating is the belief that certain foods are only available once a year. Marketers fuel this idea with seasonal items (hello, Pumpkin Spice Latte) that create a sense of scarcity.
But here’s the truth:
Most Thanksgiving foods are available year-round.
We could make turkey or pies in March if we wanted. I used to think that mashed potatoes are only available during the holidays. We began to have the more often, because we like them.
When we allow ourselves year-round access to the foods we love, something powerful happens:
habituation.
When we are freely offered food anytime of the year, it is not this irresistible food anymore. We are then less likely to overeat it.
This is why intuitive eating works so well during the holidays, food is never forbidden, and you’re not entering the season from a place of deprivation.
Societal and Cultural Messages About Holiday Eating
These messages are everywhere at this time of year, and they keep us stuck in the binge/restrict cycle:
1. You must exercise to “earn” your meal.
How many times have you heard someone say, I’m going to the Turkey Trot this morning, so I can eat our Thanksgiving meal. This reinforces punishment-based movement and disconnects you from your body. A lot of people I work with do not exercise because it has been seen as punishment for eating.
2. Plan your plate by calories, points, or macros.
Diet culture tells us to pre-decide what we “should” eat. Intuitive eating allows you to choose what you want in the moment. I remember being on a diet where the instructor told us the week before to plan what we would eat on Thanksgiving. I found this was an impossible task. I now know that I go from an intuitive eating mindset and chose in the moment what will work for me.
Granted, there might be a certain style of eating that fuels your body better, do what fits you!
3. Restrict all week so you can indulge on Thanksgiving.
I used to hear this in from diet gurus who said we should eat less during the week so we can eat more at Thanksgiving. This is a setup for overeating, shame, guilt and binging. You deserve to have the right amount of food all week, regardless of what you eat at a holiday meal.
4. “Eat as much as you can—it’s the only time you get this food!”
Overeating is increased by the scarcity mindset. Truthfully, holiday foods are generally always available. In my area we can get foods at most times of the year OR we can freeze foods to eat later. Part of what makes holidays so special is the foods that taste so good and can remind us of our past.
5. Expect to feel physically sick afterward.
NO, it is not normal to expect to feel sick after you eat. I like to have what I want and tell myself; I can have more later. Planning to feel uncomfortable in your body (overfull) is not a loving way to treat yourself.
I encourage you to lean into honoring your bodies needs no matter what holiday it is.
6. Feel guilty because you ate too much.
Sometimes we eat too much for any number of reasons. This is the time to be kind to yourself and lean into more self-love. One of my core principles is to embrace more self-love.
7. Make low-fat or low-calorie versions of your favorite treat.
Ugh, on a holiday I do like the version that tastes the best- not the one that is the lowest calorie. We want to feel satisfied after the meal, which supports our body’s needs.
What If You Ate Intuitively All Year Long?
Eating on Thanksgiving is no different from eating later in the year. Intuitive eating can be the goal for each meal.
Your body doesn’t change its needs because it is a holiday.
Intuitive eating helps you approach every meal with the same mindset: centered, calm, and connected.
Here are some good Intuitive Eating questions to ask yourself…
- What would it feel like to eat intuitively 365 days a year?
- How can I drop the holiday panic and the January guilt?
- When do I trust my body to tell me what it needs?
If I can do this, you can do this. This is possible for you.
Consider what your next step could be?
Think about one way you could bring intuitive eating into your Thanksgiving this year.
It might be:
- Eating breakfast
- Serving yourself what you actually want
- Stopping when you’re satisfied
- Caring for your emotions
- Taking a calming breath before you plate your food
You don’t have to overhaul everything all at once; just small shifts create big peace.
I wish you a holiday filled with food freedom, emotional ease, and deep connection with your body.
You deserve all of this and so much more.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.
You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.
Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.
by KimMcLaughlin | Jul 29, 2025 | Wellness
When people think of confidence, they often imagine someone walking into a room with charisma, standing tall, speaking clearly, and seemingly not caring what others think. Truth is, confidence is much deeper and more personal than outward appearances.
In a recent episode of the Feed Your Soul with Kim podcast, I sat down again with my longtime friend and confidence coach Erin Sum. Erin was my very first podcast guest back in 2019 (Episode 24), and we had a powerful conversation then about how to build confidence. This time, we went even deeper, because confidence isn’t a one-time achievement. It’s an evolving, ever-expanding journey.
If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, perfectionism, or that inner voice telling you “you’re not good enough,” we got you.
From Shy to Confident: Erin’s Story
Erin shared a vulnerable and inspiring story about how her confidence journey began. As someone who once identified as extremely shy, she never imagined she would one day speak on stages or coach others to embrace their power.
Her turning point??? She joined Passion Parties — an in-home party company selling relationship-enhancing products. Erin had to speak in front of groups, lead events, and sell products that made most people blush. It was uncomfortable, bold, and totally transformative.
“That was a massive leap outside my comfort zone,” she said. “But I knew I was here to make a difference. I just didn’t know how to do it until I took that step.”
This leap set off a chain reaction that led her to discover life coaching, eventually becoming a full-time confidence transformation coach.
Isn’t Shyness and Confidence the Same Thing?
One of the most fascinating parts of our discussion was around the connection between shyness and confidence. Are they always linked?
Erin believes that, in many cases, they are linked.
“Shyness often means we’re shrinking ourselves, holding back from being who we really are,” she explained. “It’s not just about being quiet — it’s about hiding your light.”
That doesn’t mean every quiet person lacks confidence. But when shyness is rooted in fear of being seen or judged, it can be a signal to look inward and ask:
- What am I holding back?
- Why am I afraid to be fully seen?
- What is the worst that could happen if I am seen?
5 Hidden Signs You Might Be Lacking Confidence
Low self-confidence can show up in sneaky ways. Erin and I discussed several phrases and habits that people don’t always associate with confidence, but which are clear signals:
- “I don’t deserve that.”
Whether it’s a compliment, a raise, or a relationship, feeling unworthy is a hallmark of low confidence.
- Second-guessing yourself constantly.
If you can’t decide without spinning your wheels, it’s often rooted in self-doubt.
- Putting things off because you fear failure or judgment? That’s confidence hiding in the shadows.
- The need to “get it right” before acting can paralyze you — more on that later.
- Not taking action.
Inaction isn’t laziness! It’s often fear disguised as hesitation.
Confidence is a Practice, Not a Destination
One of the most empowering ideas Erin shared was this:
“The more confident you become, the more those limiting beliefs fade away. But they come back- just at a different level.”
There’s a saying: “New level, new devil.” Erin offered a twist: “New level, old devil,” because often, the same fears resurface, just in new disguises.
Maybe you’ve conquered public speaking in small groups, but now you’re afraid to speak at a conference. Or you’ve built a business, but now you’re scared to raise your rates.
That’s not failure. That’s growth.
Really, confidence work is never really “done.” It evolves with you.
Let’s Talk About Perfectionism
Oh, perfectionism: the enemy of creativity, progress, and peace of mind.
Both Erin and I admitted that we’ve fallen into the perfectionism trap. As a Virgo and an only child, Erin joked she was “triple-whammied” with the perfectionism gene.
“I used to spend so much time perfecting a web page or writing,” she said. “Eventually, I had to accept it was never going to be perfect.”
Her favorite mantra (which I now use regularly) is from our mutual mentor, Caterina Rando:
“Done is better than perfect.”
It sounds simple, but it’s a game-changer. Every time I remind myself of this, I can move forward even when things feel messy.
If you’ve ever held back because you couldn’t get something just right, you’re not alone and that’s perfectionism at work.
Haters are Helpful!!!
This might surprise you: one of the biggest confidence boosts Erin ever experienced came from getting her first “hater.”
Yep, someone in her community tore her down publicly. Instead of shrinking, Erin celebrated. She even made a video that night (in her hoodie, no makeup, 9 p.m.) and said:
“Getting a hater means I’ve made it. It means I’m standing for something.”
That video became her most-watched video ever.
Here’s why this matters: If you put yourself out there, people will criticize. Some might even try to tear you down. That’s not a sign to stop — it’s a sign that you’re being bold.
Truth bomb: The people who truly care about you don’t need you to be perfect. And the people who demand perfection? They’re not your people.
Small but Powerful Ways to Build Confidence
So how do we build confidence? Especially if we feel stuck, scared, or deeply self-critical?
Erin offered four simple but powerful steps:
- Ask yourself: What am I afraid of?
Often, naming the fear is enough to take away its power. We tend to exaggerate what might go wrong.
- What’s the worst-case scenario?
Be honest. If you speak up in a meeting, what’s the actual worst that could happen? Usually, it’s not nearly as bad as your brain makes it out to be.
- How would I act if I felt confident and bold?
Imagine your future self, the one who’s already living confidently. What would they do right now?
- Take one small step.
Not a leap. Just a step.
- Send that email.
- Make that call.
- Speak one sentence
Confidence grows with action, not waiting.
Confidence in Real Life: What It Looks Like
Let me share a personal story: I recently had to attend a networking event. As someone who often helps others navigate fear and discomfort, people assume it’s easy for me. It’s not. I had to sit myself down and say:
“Kim, just go. Show up as you are. You’ll find your people there.”
I did and I had conversations that mattered.
The fear beforehand was real.
Leaning on my confidence tools helped just like they will for you.
Confidence doesn’t mean fear is gone. It means you show up anyway.
The Power of Community
One of the most underestimated parts of building confidence is community.
Erin and I both emphasized how important it is to surround yourself with people who:
- Celebrate your growth
- Encourage your bold steps
- Support you when fear shows up
If you don’t have those people in your life yet, seek them out. Join a group. Hire a coach. Talk to a therapist. We are not meant to do this alone.
Self-Reflection: Confidence Check-In
Here are a few journal prompts to help you integrate what you’ve read:
- Where in your life are you currently holding back?
- What fear is underneath that hesitation?
- How would you act if you believed in yourself just 10% more?
- Who in your life encourages your confidence — and who drains it?
- What’s one bold (but manageable) action you can take this week?
Finally, You Deserve to Shine
Confidence isn’t about being loud, being “perfect,” or having it all figured out.
- Trust yourself, even when you’re unsure.
- Show up, even when you’re scared.
- Act, even when you’re doubting.
- Believe, even when you feel shaky.
If you’re struggling with low confidence right now, take a breath. You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. Confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t — it’s something you build. One small, brave action at a time.
Erin and I are living proof of that.
So today, ask yourself:
✨ What would I do if I trusted myself just a little more?
Now go do that.
Want more?
🎧 Listen to the full Feed Your Soul with Kim podcast episode #123 “Beyond Confidence” with Erin Sum. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/123-beyond-confidence/id1473042304?i=1000717437412
🌀 Subscribe to hear more stories, insights, and practical tools for emotional well-being, confidence, and empowerment. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/feed-your-soul-with-kim/id1473042304
You’ve got this — and we’ve got you.
Disclaimer: This blog is not a replacement for mental health counseling. If you are suffering, seek out a qualified mental health provider. You are worth it!!!
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who helps people literally feel better in their lives.
She specializes in providing therapy for people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.
You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.
Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.
Erin Summ is a Confidence Coach. You can find out more about her on her website- https://erinsumm.com/
Check out her Bold Confident Speaker Series: https://erinsumm.com/empoweredwoman-speakerseries/
by KimMcLaughlin | Aug 9, 2024 | Emotional Eating
Do you find yourself constantly judging your body? Are you tired of feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by societal expectations?
You are not alone.
Many women struggle with body judgment, but the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s explore some strategies to help you end body judgment and make peace with your body.
What is Body Judgment?
Body judgment is a learned behavior that stems from societal standards of beauty and perfection. From a young age, we are bombarded with messages about what our bodies should look like, leading us to internalize these ideals and constantly compare ourselves to them. This constant comparison fuels body judgment and creates a negative cycle that can be difficult to break.
The impact of Body Judgment is negative.
Body judgment takes a toll on you. Some ways body judgment shows up is:
- Mental health (depression, anxiety)
- Body (yo-yo dieting)
- Self-esteem (feeling bad about yourself)
- Overall well-being
Constantly criticizing and condemning your body leads to low self-esteem, anxiety, and even disordered eating patterns. It hinders your ability to fully be present in your life and prevents you from embracing your true self. It’s time to break free from this destructive mindset.
You must shift your mindset about body judgment.
- Challenge societal standards. Recognize that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Begin questioning the unrealistic ideals presented by the media and challenge their influence on your perception of yourself.
- Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Remember that nobody is perfect, and it’s okay (and normal!) to have imperfections.
- Focus on what your body can do: Instead of fixating on appearance, shift your attention towards what your body can achieve. Celebrate its strength, resilience, and the amazing things it allows you to do. Even if you have some limited physical abilities, I challenge you to see what your body can do.
Cultivate a Positive Body Image.
First, surround yourself with positive influences. Follow social media accounts that promote body positivity and diversity. Listening to uplifting messages can help reshape your perception of bodies and beauty.
Second, engage in self-care activities. Take care of your body by engaging in activities that make you feel good. This could include movement, getting enough sleep, drinking more water, and nourishing yourself with nutritious foods.
Third, practice gratitude. Shift your focus from what you dislike about your body to what you appreciate about it. Each day, write down three things you are grateful for about your body.
Embrace Intuitive Eating as a form of Body Positivity.
Intuitive eating is a practice that involves listening to your body’s cues and honoring its needs. By adopting this approach, you can develop a more functional relationship with food and ultimately end the cycle of dieting and restriction.
- Reject diet culture:Recognize that diets are unsustainable and can lead to disordered eating patterns. Instead, focus on nourishing your body with foods that make you feel good.
- Tune into hunger and fullness cues:Pay attention to your body’s signals of hunger and fullness. Eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re satisfied, allowing yourself to enjoy a variety of foods without guilt or judgment.
- Find joy in movement:Engage in physical activity that brings you joy rather than exercising to change your appearance. Choose activities that make you feel good both mentally and physically.
Seek assistance to move out of Body Judgment.
Ending body judgment is not an overnight process, and it can be challenging to do it alone. Consider seeking support from professionals who specialize in intuitive eating, positive psychology, or mental health. They can provide guidance and tools tailored to your specific needs.
In the end, it is time to break free from the vicious cycle of body judgment. By shifting our perspective, cultivating a positive body image, embracing intuitive eating, and seeking support when needed, we can make peace with our bodies and live a life free from constant criticism. Remember, you deserve love and acceptance exactly as you are. Embrace your uniqueness and let go of the judgment. You deserve to feel confident and at peace with your body.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.
You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.
Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.
by KimMcLaughlin | Apr 16, 2024 | Intuitive Eating
Did know the Solar Eclipse can give us some incredible insights into Intuitive Eating?
Recently, I started to hear about the solar eclipse. Friends of mine traveled to another state just to be in the path of the solar eclipse! I found the on-line Solar Eclipse tracker on-line and tracked its trajectory.
What is a Solar Eclipse?
Solar eclipses occur when the moon passes between the sun and Earth, casting a shadow on our planet. This alignment is a powerful reminder of the intricate dance between different elements in our lives. Just as the moon temporarily obscures the sun’s light, we may experience moments of darkness or struggle in our journey towards intuitive eating and body acceptance.
However, it is important to remember that these moments are transient, just like a solar eclipse. The sun always emerges from behind the moon, shining its light once again.
Similarly, we have the capacity to overcome challenges and emerge stronger in our relationship with food and our bodies.
There is a symbolism of Darkness and Light in overeating!
As in the Solar Eclipse, overeating can lead to a darkness that momentarily envelops us (feeling bad about ourselves). This darkness represents the shadows we often face in our relationship with food – feelings of guilt, shame, or restriction.
However, just as the sun eventually emerges from behind the moon, so too can we find light amidst these shadows.
Intuitive eating encourages us to embrace all aspects of our relationship with food without judgment or restriction. By acknowledging and accepting our dark moments, we can learn from them and pave the way for a more balanced and nourishing approach to eating.
I became even more interested in the power of the Solar Eclipse when my friend, Teresa Campos, offered her community a workshop on the symbolism of the Solar Eclipse. She told us when the moon is between the sun and earth it creates a shadow, which gives us an opportunity to see what shadows are showing up for ourselves. This workshop made me think further about the shadows in our lives around food, overeating and body image.
What are the Shadows in your life with food, body image and overeating?
- Where am I struggling with food?
- How do I struggle with my body image?
- Where is there the lack of forgiveness?
- Is there anger at myself or others?
These questions led me to inquire more about what I needed in my life.
The shadows are the undiscovered parts of us that are wanting to break through. The darkness of the eclipse is a metaphor to what shadows are going on in me. I can then move through it and the sun shines fully again.
Embracing Change: Lessons from the Transitory Nature of Solar Eclipses.
One of the most remarkable aspects of a solar eclipse is its transitory nature. It serves as a powerful reminder that change is inevitable and necessary for growth.
In our journey towards intuitive eating and body acceptance, we may encounter changes in our habits, beliefs, and perceptions.
Just like the moon moving across the sun, these changes can be transformative if we embrace them with an open mind and heart. By letting go of old patterns that no longer serve us, we create space for new experiences and a deeper connection with ourselves.
Here are some questions to start wondering about that deeper connection:
- Where is there some darkness in my life?
- What change is calling me?
- Where is my support to make this change?
Finding Balance: Exploring the Relationship Between Sun and Moon in Body Acceptance.
The relationship between the sun and moon during a solar eclipse teaches us about balance. The sun represents our desire for warmth, nourishment, and vitality, while the moon symbolizes our emotions, intuition, and inner world.
Similarly, body acceptance requires finding equilibrium between honoring our physical needs and nurturing our mental well-being. Just as the sun and moon complement each other’s existence, we too can find harmony by embracing both aspects of ourselves – our bodies and minds – in our journey towards self-acceptance.
The Power Within: Using Intuitive Eating to Navigate Challenges.
As we witness the power of a solar eclipse, we are reminded of the immense energy within us waiting to be harnessed.
There are many tools to guide us on this path.
- Looking through a positive lens (seeing the light).
- Practicing self-compassion (honoring our value).
- Building resilience (making pivots to increase our self-esteem).
We can navigate challenges with grace and strength. Just as the moon aligns perfectly with the sun during an eclipse, we too can align our thoughts and actions with our goals for intuitive eating, body acceptance, and mental well-being.
Reflecting on the lessons learned from solar eclipses, what can you apply to your own journey towards intuitive eating, body acceptance, and mental well-being?
- Take a moment to journal or meditate on what changes you are ready to embrace and how you can find balance in your relationship with food and your body.
- Consider seeking support from professionals or joining a community that aligns with your goals for further guidance and encouragement. You can join us in the Feed Your Soul Communityon Facebook.
- We would love for you to join us in Emotional Eating Solutions, our course to help you move into peace with food through Intuitive Eating.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.
You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soulwith Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.
You can learn more about Teresa Campos here
Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.
by KimMcLaughlin | Mar 5, 2024 | Emotional Eating, Movement
Stop exercising!!!
There I said it. I think exercising is ridiculous.
My clients often tell me they, too, do not want to exercise. They often ask me why they do not want to exercise. They know it is “good” for them, but they are unmotivated.
The people I talk to are motivated to exercise when they start a diet. Once they stop losing weight and stop the diet, then the exercise stops.
Aren’t we all supposed to want to exercise?
Merriam-Webster says physical exercise is:
- The regular or repeated use of a faculty or bodily organ.
- Bodily exertion for the sake of developing and maintaining physical fitness.
I have always thought exercise is something that I am supposed to want to do. I am supposed to want to be “physically fit,” whatever that might mean.
I, and many of my clients, do not resonate with the idea of exercise.
There are some powerful reasons not to want to exercise:
- Exercising is connected to the dieting cycle of restrict, binge, and shame.
- It can be hard and uncomfortable. Anyone who’s heard the term, “no pain, no gain” could agree.
- You sweat A LOT, which can lead to embarrassment about your size.
- Exercise can bring back the feelings from younger years of being shamed in P.E. class.
- Clothes don’t fit right or do not support you correctly.
- Your body is exposed through tight clothes. Gyms have LOTS of mirrors.
- The ongoing judgment of yourself not being able to perform a physical task.
- There is mental connection between exercise and dieting.
The list of why we do not exercise is long. When we have a history of eating disorders and disordered eating, there is plenty of baggage with exercise.
When my clients ask, why should I exercise? I respond you shouldn’t exercise.
Shocking right?
Even though exercise is loaded with baggage, we are in bodies and need to engage in movement.
Intuitive Eating calls it “joyful movement.”
We are meant to move our bodies in the way that works best for each of us. Everyone has a different level of capacity and ability.
Do what movement YOU can do.
We know from studies and experience that movement has many positive benefits:
- Can help decrease depressive symptoms. Movement can get us to increase the endorphins our bodies need to feel better. Note: movement is not the cure for depression, but it can be a helpful part of your treatment. If you are experiencing depression, please seek out a licensed mental health professional.
- Movement can help you sleep better. Being physically tired can be helpful.
- My esthetician says my skin looks better since I have been engaging in more movement.
- Lastly, we are in bodies that are made to be in motion and you get to define what that motion looks like.
What kind of movement should you engage in?
Here are some questions to help you figure it out:
First ask yourself, when I was younger what did I like to do?
- What did you like to do 10, 20, 30 years ago?
- What did you do as a child?
- Where is there passion for movement you had years earlier?
I liked to swim when I was younger and ride my bike.
Second, which kind of movement brings me joy?
I often ask myself what kind of movement will bring me joy today?
This has led me to try many activities that I would not have normally tried like:
- Yoga
- Zumba
- Stand Up Paddle Board
- Hiking
As the years have gone by my answer to what movement brings me joy has changed.
I had been attending a gym for years and I was feeling bored there, and my intuitive voice said I need yoga. Now I have been going to a yoga studio for a few months, my joy has increased exponentially.
Third, determine what is fun to you NOW?
Ask yourself regularly, what would be a fun activity? I have been amazed how much I will step out of my movement comfort zone when I embrace what is fun. I will swing at the park, dance, and try aerial yoga (this was scary, but fun).
Honestly, having a history of food issues has led can lead you to reject exercise for many different reasons.
I encourage you to reject exercise, too.
This does not mean I am encouraging you to sit on the couch all day.
Lastly, embrace movement in a way that works for you.
For me, some days it is extra sweaty hiking, other days it is calm yin yoga.
Movement is critical to our body’s wellbeing. Disconnecting the movement from dieting is critical to enjoyment and it leads us to want to do it some more.
Be sure to get clothes and equipment that fit correctly and support you in all the right ways.
In the end, focus on engaging in joyful movement. Look at what you can do that is fun and be active. It is an opportunity to reconnect with your body in a way that is pleasing to you.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.
You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.
Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.
