by KimMcLaughlin | Apr 16, 2016 | Podcast
End Emotional Eating
Most people have eaten for emotional reasons at one time or another. It can be the go to thought when there is stress. I remember many occasions at work when one person would say to colleagues, “I am stressed – who wants to get something with me (meaning something sweet)?” We were all stressed and didn’t know how to handle it except by eating.
Eating to manage emotions over a long period of time can end up having some negative consequences. One of the biggest problems with using food to manage emotions is it can lead to weight issues, and with the weight comes many more problems.
Eating for emotional reasons is used to quiet any of a number of emotions such as: sadness, anger, frustration, loneliness, or boredom to name a few. Emotional hunger is not the same as physical hunger (the true reason to eat) and you are looking for food to satisfy the emotional need. We know that ultimately food cannot satisfy an emotional need because it is meant to satisfy physical hunger.
The starting point for emotional eating is to know if you engage in it. Truthfully, many people are unaware that is what they are doing, thinking they are simply overeating. The foods chosen for emotional eating tend to be those that you would consider comfort foods: high in fat, salt, and sugar. Here are some signs of emotional eating:
- Eating when you are not hungry.
- Eating when you are experiencing feelings.
- Eating in isolation.
- Eating and feeling guilty afterward.
- Overeating and not knowing why.
- Eating to make yourself feel better.
- Craving a food for no apparent reason and thinking you cannot live without it.
Emotional eating can be reinforcing since it tastes good at first and there are all the positive thoughts about how much you want or need it. The positive feelings (relief, calm) from emotional eating will last for only a certain amount of time (one minute to hours) followed by a turning point where you find yourself experiencing the following situations:
- Feeling guilty.
- Feeling ashamed.
- Feeling upset that you overate.
- Feeling a resurgence of the original feeling that triggered the binge.
- Feel upset that you have gained weight or that you might gain weight.
The ultimate end result is that emotional eating does not work to satisfy the emotion that sent you to the food in the beginning. Understanding this is the starting point to changing this behavior. Acknowledge it to yourself. Also give yourself praise that you are now “getting it.” You might feel the need to beat yourself up for doing this for so long. However, this thought process will not serve you in any positive way, but rather send you back to overeating for being mad at yourself for overeating (a circular process). The starting spot is acknowledgment and then self-compassion. Know you have done the best you can and now is the time to seek out strategies for making a change. Some good strategies are: reading self-help books, seeing a professional who specializes in ending emotional eating, or attending 12 step groups. The main objective is doing something now to begin altering this pattern. I know you can do it.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
by KimMcLaughlin | Nov 5, 2015 | Podcast
Ending Emotional Eating: Leftover Halloween candy
I just saw a video from Jimmy Kimmel of an annual prank where he encourages parents to video themselves telling their kids that they ate all of the kids Halloween candy. I must admit it was funny to see the kids have such expressive (sad, mad) reactions. It also made me think of the torment some of us experience after the kids go Trick or Treating and now we are faced with lots of candy in the house or left over candy bought to give out to the kids. This situation can be really difficult for anyone with emotional eating issues. Just having the candy in the house can lead to overeating, obsessive thoughts (“do I eat it or don’t I”) and wondering how we can hide that we ate the candy.
Emotional eating means we eat to help ourselves deal with emotions, and some emotions can revolve around the fear of having candy in the house. We can become sneaky and shame ridden when we do eat someone else’s Halloween candy or eat more than we think we should. When I was a child, I remember taking some of my brothers Halloween candy. He would ask who took it and I did not tell the truth. He then started to count the candy and then I could not keep taking it without being caught. I felt ashamed that I engaged in that kind of behavior and did not tell the truth about it.
I consider Halloween as the start of the holiday season, which can be very challenging for emotional eaters. Sugar can often be the go to choice when emotions arise. Now we are done with Halloween, but not with the candy. There is a full bowl of it in my house and it is now not a concern for me. If you struggle with this like I have (read more on my Halloween story here), let me give you some tips to get through it.
- I like to tell myself, “It is not mine to take or eat.” That thought keeps me out of my child’s candy. Think up a statement that you will tell yourself which can help redirect you or use mine.
- Do you really need that much candy in the house? Local dentists collect (and sometimes pay for) candy which they send to the troops. Engage your child (if it is their candy) in the idea we have plenty and we can share or make it a rule that we only keep a certain amount and the rest we give away. It is nice to give others a sweet treat.
- Ask yourself why you really want the candy. Sounds simple, but some moments of questioning ourselves, our feelings, and our desire to have the candy can help use become more mindful of our decisions.
These tips can be very effective in the short term process of managing the thoughts and behaviors around sweets. Since this is the start of the holiday season, really consider a plan of action for yourself for the next 2 months. Developing an understanding of your emotional eating and a plan of action is a great way to start the holidays. It is possible to have an enjoyable holiday without the struggle over food.
Have some tips about how you handle leftover Halloween candy? Let us know in the comments below.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
by KimMcLaughlin | Jul 30, 2014 | Podcast
In a previous blog post I talked about Understanding Emotional Eating. Now that you know the definition it is time to explore what to do to end it. Emotional eating is eating when you are not physically hungry and it is used to calm or push down emotions. Many emotions can trigger emotional eating: sadness, loneliness, boredom, or anger. Some signs that you could be emotionally eating are when you are looking for food after a stressful situation or some triggering event, or you are eating and getting overly full often. In order to determine the emotion, it takes a little detective work. I call it getting curious. Ask yourself, “why am I wanting sugary food when I am not hungry; what could be going on?” Then get silent for a moment and check inside. I like to take a deep breath at that point in time. Then ask yourself, “how am I feeling?” happy, sad, mad, scared, or anxious. Then ask yourself, “What can I do right now to handle this feeling?” Some ideas are:
- Walk around the block. If you are at work, walk to the bathroom. The point is, just move.
- Write a little in a journal that can be in the form of a binder, little tablet in your purse, or on your phone (I have a phone app that lets me write in a journal).
- Talk to a trusted person and let them know how you are feeling.
During this process, I like to tell myself that I can have the food if I really want, but only after I figure out what is going on. Generally, by the time I figure out what I was feeling I am no longer hungry. Those food cravings are really a call to look deeper at what is going on inside of you. When you do not take that opportunity to consider the emotions underneath the food craving, you are reinforcing that overeating is a solution. The problem is that the food is not the solution to your feelings. It does not really solve the issue and can make it worse, because you end up feeling overfull, guilty that you overate, and possibly depriving yourself of food at your next meal.
Emotional eating is actually helpful, because it is a call to check back in with yourself- as long as you use it that way. If you do engage in emotional overeating, just move forward. Check in with yourself to understand what happened and what feeling you were trying to subside and move on. Guilt can be your worst enemy and lead to additional overeating. Be kind to yourself and begin to understand your emotional eating. It can help you put food back in its proper place as nourishment for your body.
Do you have tools that help you end emotional eating? We would love to hear them. Let us know in the comments below.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
