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Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. She provides counseling services in the Roseville and greater Sacramento CA area. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact herhere.
I have a confession to make. I tend to eat fast, no matter how hungry I am. I have not really focused on changing this behavior, because I have learned to adapt to it by putting less on my plate (so I do not end up overeating). I know the importance of eating slowing: so our mind can catch up with our body sensation of fullness (satiety). I have heard from many nutritionists it takes 20 minutes for our brain to register we are full.
Carpe Diem
I did not notice I ate fast, until my family pointed out that I often finish eating earlier than they do. Along with putting less on my plate, to ensure I do not overeat, I have learned to not put any more on my plate until the 20 minutes has passed. I can then make the decision to eat more due to my physical hunger. I would like to eat slower, since I do know that I can then feel my fullness and not overeat. This is a process, a journey for me, just like it can be for you too.
I know (in my head) all of the benefits of eating more slowly:
You can tend to eat less.
You know when you are full more easily.
You have time to consider what you are eating and how it is making your body feel.
You can then have more interesting conversations with people at your table.
So, I am on a mission, for myself, to slow down my eating. I thought you might have a similar desire.
This is my plan to help me accomplish my goal.
I will still put less than what I think I want to eat plate (as I have always done), knowing that I can still have more, if I am still hungry.
I will continue to not eat in the car or in front of the tv. I gave that up a long time ago, since that the places where lots of mindless eating can happen.
I will take a bite put my fork down, chew and then pick up my fork again. This can help me to slow down.
I will take sips of water during my meal to slow me down.
I will start my meals affirming I eat at a slow pace.
Eating slower is part of mindfulness during eating. Mindfulness is one of the six components to an Emotional Eating Solution. The other components: food, emotions, thoughts, lifestyle, body image/self-worth create the six components you need to have in alignment to have peace with food. I find it interesting that food is only one of the six components and the other five are the areas that can lead us to overeat.
I want you to see that this is a journey to be more accountable with food behavior, mine included. I will check back in with you to tell you how it is going. I find stating what I am doing to others helps me to hold myself accountable and reminds me to be more mindful.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor and Motivational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor.
Kim McLaughlin has been identified as writing one of theTop 50 Blogs about Emotional Eatingby the Institute on Emotional Eating. Sign up for her free Special Report: Top Strategies to End Binge Eatinghereor visit her website atwww.FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com.
Do you ever find that you eat more than you planned? Do you eat until you feel stuffed? Do you try diet after diet only to ultimately gain weight back? This might begin to make you think that there is something wrong with you and that you are doomed to struggle with food and your weight forever.
I want to help you see that this is not a moral issue, and you are not lacking willpower or the ability to change the way you deal with food. What you could be missing is the key to changing your relationship with food. By handling your relationship with food, you can put food in its place as nourishment only.
The key can be recognizing how your emotions are playing a part in your overeating. The emotional component is not helped by dieting or limiting food. Actually the opposite happens: you could ultimately eat even more by trying to limit food when you are eating for emotional reasons.
Doesn’t everyone eat for emotional reasons? Yes, at some point everyone does. The question is – does it bother you? Eating to manage emotions is a challenge for many people because it can lead to weight issues that cause many other problems. Food can become a way to nurture yourself, when its actual purpose is to nourish your body. If we look to food to satisfy our feelings this may result in an endless cycle of diet/restrict-binge-guilt.
To help you determine if emotional eating is problem for you, ask yourself these questions. Do you:
1. Eat large amounts when you are not hungry?
2. Eat so much you feel uncomfortably full?
3. Eat in isolation to avoid feeling embarrassed?
4. Eat and feel guilty, upset, or depressed afterward?
5. Eat more rapidly than others?
6. Eat to make you feel better?
Does the way that you eat cause you problems? Emotional eating can keep you stuck because it has a component that actually makes you feel good. However, the positive feelings (relief, calm) are only temporary (one minute to many hours) and there is a turning point where it becomes negative and you might find yourself feeling angry and guilty that you overate (again).
The conclusion is emotional eating does not work. It does not satisfy your emotions, and can actually hurt you. The way to begin to deal with your emotions rather than overeating is to:
• Notice when you are eating for emotional reasons: for reasons other than hunger.
• Acknowledge it to yourself. You cannot change anything until you recognize it and acknowledge it.
• Give yourself praise that you are now “getting it” and willing to do something different.
As you begin to notice and acknowledge emotional eating you can then start figuring out what to do next. Some ideas are:
• Begin to identify the emotions that are leading you to eat: sad, mad, anxious, bored, or lonely.
• After you notice the emotions then you can address them. You can develop a “toolbox” which you can draw upon. I have many items in my toolbox to help me take care of my emotions such as; journaling, taking a walk, talking to a friend, meditating, or working out.
• Develop more mindfulness in relationship to your emotions by doing a physical check in. Try taking a deep breath and feel the connection to your body, then ask yourself how you are feeling, and what you really need. I find this mindfulness keeps me in touch with my feelings and a positive way to address them.
Be careful not to go down the path of self-loathing for overeating “for so long.” I promise you this negative thought process will only foster a return to overeating for being mad at yourself for it. Now is the time for self-compassion. Realize that you have done the best you can, and now is the time to change. Seek out help through books, professionals, coaches, 12 step groups, and friends; anything to begin changing this pattern. I’m confident that you can make it happen!
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor and Motivational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discover Your Inspiration.
Kim McLaughlin has been identified as writing one of the Top 50 Blogs about Emotional Eating by the Institute on Emotional Eating. Sign up for her free Special Report: Top Strategies to End Emotional Eating here.
I get asked this all the time, “How do I know if I am an emotional eater?” It is a question that is personal and individual. It can be hard to know. I think of emotional eating as a puzzle with many pieces. Here are some of the clues for you to see what emotional eating is:
Eating when you are not hungry.
Using food to comfort yourself.
Using food to help with situations that feel uncomfortable.
Eating to overfull.
Feeling bad about what you eat and your overeating.
Calling food good and bad.
Feeling bad about your body and your weight.
Any of these signs by themselves are not necessarily indicative of emotional eating. You might be someone who engages in emotional eating, at times, and it does not cause you a problem. It is socially acceptable to overeat at holidays and family celebrations that happen sporadically. There are people whose overeating is the exception rather than the rule. They may find one or two of the above questions are a yes, but not many more than that.
Knowing if you are an emotional eater or not is helpful, because then you can begin to get a direction to end the emotional eating. It can be important to know if you are an emotional eater, because many emotional eater are prone to join on the diet bandwagon. I have seen this happen over and over again. Dieting is the socially acceptable way to manage food and weight issues. Right? Problem is if you are eating for emotional reasons, a diet does not help you.
If you find the answers to many of the above questions are a yes, you might be an emotional eating. If so, you do not need to worry. Now you have a name to the problem and that can lead you to a solution. Many of us have the same problem and there is a solution. Knowing there is a problem and naming it is the first step to the freedom that I know you are looking for.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eatinghere. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
Most people have eaten for emotional reasons at one time or another. It can be the go to thought when there is stress. I remember many occasions at work when one person would say to colleagues, “I am stressed – who wants to get something with me (meaning something sweet)?” We were all stressed and didn’t know how to handle it except by eating.
Eating to manage emotions over a long period of time can end up having some negative consequences. One of the biggest problems with using food to manage emotions is it can lead to weight issues, and with the weight comes many more problems.
Eating for emotional reasons is used to quiet any of a number of emotions such as: sadness, anger, frustration, loneliness, or boredom to name a few. Emotional hunger is not the same as physical hunger (the true reason to eat) and you are looking for food to satisfy the emotional need. We know that ultimately food cannot satisfy an emotional need because it is meant to satisfy physical hunger.
The starting point for emotional eating is to know if you engage in it. Truthfully, many people are unaware that is what they are doing, thinking they are simply overeating. The foods chosen for emotional eating tend to be those that you would consider comfort foods: high in fat, salt, and sugar. Here are some signs of emotional eating:
Eating when you are not hungry.
Eating when you are experiencing feelings.
Eating in isolation.
Eating and feeling guilty afterward.
Overeating and not knowing why.
Eating to make yourself feel better.
Craving a food for no apparent reason and thinking you cannot live without it.
Emotional eating can be reinforcing since it tastes good at first and there are all the positive thoughts about how much you want or need it. The positive feelings (relief, calm) from emotional eating will last for only a certain amount of time (one minute to hours) followed by a turning point where you find yourself experiencing the following situations:
Feeling guilty.
Feeling ashamed.
Feeling upset that you overate.
Feeling a resurgence of the original feeling that triggered the binge.
Feel upset that you have gained weight or that you might gain weight.
The ultimate end result is that emotional eating does not work to satisfy the emotion that sent you to the food in the beginning. Understanding this is the starting point to changing this behavior. Acknowledge it to yourself. Also give yourself praise that you are now “getting it.” You might feel the need to beat yourself up for doing this for so long. However, this thought process will not serve you in any positive way, but rather send you back to overeating for being mad at yourself for overeating (a circular process). The starting spot is acknowledgment and then self-compassion. Know you have done the best you can and now is the time to seek out strategies for making a change. Some good strategies are: reading self-help books, seeing a professional who specializes in ending emotional eating, or attending 12 step groups. The main objective is doing something now to begin altering this pattern. I know you can do it.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact herhere. Sign up for herFREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eatinghere. Check out her website atwww.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
I just saw a video from Jimmy Kimmel of an annual prank where he encourages parents to video themselves telling their kids that they ate all of the kids Halloween candy. I must admit it was funny to see the kids have such expressive (sad, mad) reactions. It also made me think of the torment some of us experience after the kids go Trick or Treating and now we are faced with lots of candy in the house or left over candy bought to give out to the kids. This situation can be really difficult for anyone with emotional eating issues. Just having the candy in the house can lead to overeating, obsessive thoughts (“do I eat it or don’t I”) and wondering how we can hide that we ate the candy.
Emotional eating means we eat to help ourselves deal with emotions, and some emotions can revolve around the fear of having candy in the house. We can become sneaky and shame ridden when we do eat someone else’s Halloween candy or eat more than we think we should. When I was a child, I remember taking some of my brothers Halloween candy. He would ask who took it and I did not tell the truth. He then started to count the candy and then I could not keep taking it without being caught. I felt ashamed that I engaged in that kind of behavior and did not tell the truth about it.
I consider Halloween as the start of the holiday season, which can be very challenging for emotional eaters. Sugar can often be the go to choice when emotions arise. Now we are done with Halloween, but not with the candy. There is a full bowl of it in my house and it is now not a concern for me. If you struggle with this like I have (read more on my Halloween story here), let me give you some tips to get through it.
I like to tell myself, “It is not mine to take or eat.” That thought keeps me out of my child’s candy. Think up a statement that you will tell yourself which can help redirect you or use mine.
Do you really need that much candy in the house? Local dentists collect (and sometimes pay for) candy which they send to the troops. Engage your child (if it is their candy) in the idea we have plenty and we can share or make it a rule that we only keep a certain amount and the rest we give away. It is nice to give others a sweet treat.
Ask yourself why you really want the candy. Sounds simple, but some moments of questioning ourselves, our feelings, and our desire to have the candy can help use become more mindful of our decisions.
These tips can be very effective in the short term process of managing the thoughts and behaviors around sweets. Since this is the start of the holiday season, really consider a plan of action for yourself for the next 2 months. Developing an understanding of your emotional eating and a plan of action is a great way to start the holidays. It is possible to have an enjoyable holiday without the struggle over food.
Have some tips about how you handle leftover Halloween candy? Let us know in the comments below.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eatinghere. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
Do you ever find that you eat more than you planned? Do you eat until you feel stuffed? Do you try diet after diet only to ultimately gain weight back? This might begin to make you think that there is something wrong with you and that you are doomed to struggle with food and your weight forever.
