When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

by KimMcLaughlin | Nov 1, 2013 | Podcast

I made some lemonade recently- not the juice kind, but the life kind.

My family and I were heading off for a weekend camping trip when about 2 hours into our 4 hour drive smoke came out from under the hood of our car. My husband opened the hood and saw some smoking fluid in the area where the car was recently fixed. At this point, we were on a rural highway with 2 hours left on our trip. We had to decide if we would chance it and keep driving or turn around and find an autorepair shop nearby. We chose the later. I encouraged my husband to call the shop that fixed the car recently to see what they suggest. That shop provided an 800 number of affiliated repair shops around the state that could look at the car to determine if the part that was put on previously was faulty, and would be covered under warranty.  If that was not it, then we would at least have a mechanic assess the problemto help us make our next move.

We called two local affiliated repair shops, but both were booked through the end of the day. Did I mention that this was at 3:30pm on a Friday? So we started driving in the direction of our home- thinking we can’t take a car that had a smoking engine to a distant campground. As we drove, I got internally quiet which helped me feel calmer and look for other options. I realized my in-laws lived nearby and I suggested we call them to see if we could stay with them and get our car looked at tomorrow morning near their home. I called them and they gladly said that we could stay the night. I found a nearby affiliated repair shop that was able to schedule an appointment to have our car looked at first thing next morning. My pessimistic thoughts about our weekend camping trip being ruined shifted right then, and everything henceforth started working in a positive way.

The end of the story goes… we spent a relaxing Friday night with my in-laws in a warm bed and spent time with people we love. Saturday morning the local mechanic looked at the car and said the smoke was old oil burning off the engine from the previous repair, and not a new leak or problem.  The smoking ceased and we then were back on the road to our campsite.

We removed the sourness (lemon) of the situation:

• Car appears to be faulty when we are far from home.
• We lost a night of camping and no refund.

And concentrated our thoughts on the sweetness (lemonade):

• We had a fun weekend away, which was the point all along.
• We spent special unexpected time with my in-laws.
• We spent a great 2 days (1 night) camping at a serene, gorgeous campsite.
• We went with the flow.

I can count so many times in my life where I was seeing the situation as bad and I was angry (lemons) when if I had changed my perspective and gone with the flow, I could see the sweetness (lemonade).

Are there times in your life when you could make lemonade out of a seemingly bad situation (lemons)? I find this change in perspective opens me up to seeing the same situation in a different way that positively influences my attitude, resulting in a much more enjoyable experience.

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders.  If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.

Scared about overeating Halloween candy?

by KimMcLaughlin | Oct 8, 2013 | Podcast

I used to be really afraid of Halloween and not because of the ghosts and goblins. I was afraid to have Halloween candy in my house. I was afraid I would eat the candy before the Trick or Treaters came around. My solution was to make other plans on Halloween. Many years (before kids) I went to the gym or a friend’s house on Halloween to avoid buying and giving out candy. It was the only solution I could think of to not overeat the candy.

I found Intuitive Eating and found a peace with food that I had not had before. I decided to let go of my fear of Halloween candy and see if I could put it in proper perspective. Intuitive Eating teaches us to not label foods as good or bad, food is just food.  Granted some foods are more nutritious than others and help fuel our bodies better than others, but the judgment that it is good or bad is not helpful. Labeling food as good or bad puts a judgment that can lead a person with a food issue to want it and think about it even more.  If you are scared to have Halloween candy in your house and you would like to try something different here are some suggestions:

1. Give yourself a break from giving out Halloween candy and take the night off (it worked for me for many years). Go to the gym, the movies or the mall.
2. Let go of the idea that candy is bad food. When a certain food is labeled bad we can tend to see it as something to hide and sneak.
3. If you are going to eat candy- eat it and really enjoy it. Sit at the table use a napkin, use a plate and really savor what you are eating. Often candy grabbed out of the bowl and eaten while doing something else. This is really mindless eating that leads to overeating.
4. Take a deep breath and really ask yourself if you are hungry. If you are not hungry really ask yourself why you want to eat. Maybe you are feeling some emotion that you want to curb. Emotional eating is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. If you are hungry, ask yourself “what do I want?” AND “what would give you the energy I need to do what you need to do?”

If you do overindulge on Halloween candy you can acknowledge it and return to try the suggestions above. It takes time to change this behavior and to begin to understand why you do it.

I solute your courage to consider not overeating at Halloween. This is a tough time of year if you are an overeater and it is not easy to just stop. I know there are many who will tell you “just stop overeating.” I know it is not as easy as that. But, try something different and acknowledge that you are moving forward.

Try something new. I would love to hear what you tried below.

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders.  If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.