by KimMcLaughlin | May 7, 2014 | Intuitive Eating, Lifestyle, Mental Health
I love to swim, and I tend to feel negative about my body. Even after all these years of focusing on my body image and intuitive eating, shopping for bathing suits can bring up some negative thoughts.
I have decided the good feeling I get from swimming is more important than any negative feeling about trying on a bathing suit.
I read an article about a study of women’s perception about themselves in bathing suits, the researcher, Marika Tiggemann (a psychologist at Flinders University in Australia) found that women feel more negative about their bodies when they are in the store trying on bathing suits as compared when they are wearing their bathing suit in public. She concluded that the negative thoughts were triggered by the bright lights, the intense look at the body and the large mirrors.
Isn’t that interesting, the place we go to try on bathing suits is the worst place for us to feel good in our bodies.
Here are some ideas to survive the trip to the store to try on bathing suits:
- Don’t spend too much time in the mirror.
- Counteract the negative voices that might be telling yourself that your body is not OK.
- Remember the fun you will have swimming or laying in the sun.
- Don’t focus on the size of the suit (it is just a number).
Many women feel self-conscious about their bodies, and being in a bathing suit can really magnify those negative thoughts.
I guess the option is to not go swimming, which I am sad to say many choose to avoid being seen in a bathing suit.
My desire to swim is much greater than any self-conscious feelings I have.
Maybe you are like me:
- I am a work in progress.
- Trying to improve feelings about my body.
- Knowing that swimming is a great outdoor activity that leads to increased mental health, physical health, and self-esteem.
Come on and join me at the pool, the water is great!
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact Kim: Contact Us.
Listen to the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast where we have many episodes focused on positive body image.
Sign up for her FREE Am I an Emotional Eater here.
Check out her website at FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
by KimMcLaughlin | May 7, 2014 | Podcast
This year for Mother’s Day I decided I would ask for what I want. I was specific about the whole thing: where I want to go, what I want to do, and where I want to eat. I have morning, noon, and night mapped out. Normally I go with the flow and do not get so specific. I realized how much I was relying on my family to read my mind and figure out what I really wanted to do and I would sometimes be a little disappointed and resentful when plans weren’t what I thought they should be.
I decided I was not going to beat around the bush this year nor make little subtle suggestions; I was going to outright ask for what I wanted. I think sometimes we expect our partners, family members, or our children to know what we want. I have to remind myself that they cannot read my mind.
Do you ever really ask for what you want? I know that “no” is the response the other can give, but I decided it was important to at least ask specifically for what I wanted.
If you are a mother and have a specific idea about how you want to spend Mother’s Day, ask for it. You deserve to ask for what you want. If your mother, wife, or partner has not told you what she wants to do, ask her. She might surprise you with her answer.
Here’s to all the mothers. I plan to have a great day because I am going to do exactly what I want. What do you plan to do? I would love to hear what you have in store for Mother’s Day. Feel free to post it below.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
by KimMcLaughlin | Apr 1, 2014 | Podcast
So many people struggle with eating issues whether they are binge eaters, emotional eaters or not. This struggle begs the question, what is “normal eating?” Below is a good check list (given to me by Mary McCloy RN, LMFT) to see if you are a normal eater.
- Go to the table hungry and eat until satisfied.
- Eat nutritious foods, but don’t be restrictive.
- Eat 3 meals a day or 4-5 or eat all day long. You decide.
- Leave the food/table when you don’t want more.
- Food does not take up all of your time/energy, except when you are eating.
- You eat and then you are done. You don’t think about eating again until you are hungry.
I had never thought about how a “normal eater” eats. You might find there could be more added to this list or some you do not agree with. The point is that eating is very individual and normal is also individually interpreted. I do know that “normal eating” involves a lack of obsession and compulsion and a lack of constant vigilance. It is a process of nourishing your body. If this is tough for you to do, it could be time to seek support.
Are you or someone you know a “normal eater?” What are the signs you see in a normal eater?
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
by KimMcLaughlin | Mar 17, 2014 | Podcast
Do you find that when you ask someone how they are, they respond by saying they are stressed? You nod and silently agree with them. Life can be stressful. This stress can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety and depression. These uncomfortable feelings are very real and can lead to an increase in mindless overeating or eating to lessen the stress. This eating might feel good in the moment, but it can affect your weight and your overall sense of wellbeing.
There is a way out of this stress.
I like a technique used in the 12-step movement called H.A.L.T. Quite simply, H.A.L.T. is an acronym for hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. The root cause of overeating can often start with any of those feelings. Using the acronym we will explore how to look at our feelings.
First start with the letter H and ask yourself “Am I hungry?” This is the first question because the starting point to eating is asking the question “am I hungry.” You might be experiencing physical hunger which means you need to eat. If the answer is “I am not physically hungry,” then move to the next question to see what might be going on.
Secondly ask yourself “Am I angry?” If the answer is yes, this is the time to use some tools to help you get out your anger. Some tools I find helpful are talking to a supportive friend, taking a walk to clear my mind, or taking some time away from the charged situation.
The third question is “Am I lonely?” If the answer is yes, reflect on what might be leading to the loneliness. Perhaps it is sadness over your current life situation, or you do not feel nurtured by the people around you. If you can change the situation, perhaps that might be the best course of action. If you cannot change the situation, change your mind about it. Letting go of the situation’s power over you can be very effective by telling yourself “I let go of this situation.” I know this might sound simplistic, but it works
Lastly ask yourself “Am I tired?” If the answer is yes, REST. Sometimes situations are overwhelming because you have not gotten enough sleep or down time. Restoring yourself through sleep can be very curative when you are physically tired. You might wake with a whole different perspective.
Life can be stressful, that is for sure. But it does not have to be the reason to overeat. By gathering effective tools such as H.A.L.T. you are then prepared handle tough situations when they arise (because you know they will).
What tool do you use to stop you from overeating? Let us know below in the comments.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
by KimMcLaughlin | Feb 13, 2014 | Podcast
Do you find yourself taking care of others and feeling frustrated? Do you worry about how others are going to make it if you do not help them? Do you feel drained by how much you do for others?
If you answered yes to those questions, you might be a codependent. My definition of a codependent is when you take care of others at the expense of yourself. This topic was written about extensively by Melody Beattie in the book Codependent No More and if you want a real thorough look at the topic you should pick up the book.
I find there is a fine line between helping another and codependence. Here is a quick way to tell the difference: Codependence will leave you drained, frustrated and angry; while helping for helping sake will lead you to feel uplifted. Here are some other clues to see if you are codependent:
- You have resentment that the person you are helping should be doing more for themselves.
- You blame them for not being different, “after all that I have done.”
- You worry about others more than they worry about themselves.
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you might be engaging in codependence. If so, start by asking yourself the following questions when you consider taking care of someone else:
- What do I need?
- What is MY heart’s desire?
- How can I be helpful to another and not neglect myself in the process?
- What do I get out of being codependent?
These questions are important, because they can help you get back in touch with your needs and wants rather than focusing on what someone else needs and wants. Truthfully, you can only take care of yourself, not anyone else. During this process you might find you feel a strong pull to help the other person. Allow yourself to hold back and give the other person an opportunity to do it for themselves (even if it might lead to “failure”). There is a greater satisfaction completing a task (no matter the results) themselves as opposed to someone else doing it for them.
My motto is, “I have to be good to myself, so I can be helpful to another.” Is this selfish? I don’t think so. Is it emotionally healthy? I think yes. The lesson is to take care of myself and allow others to take care of themselves.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact Kim: Contact Us.
