Do you find yourself constantly judging your body? Are you tired of feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by societal expectations?
You are not alone.
Many women struggle with body judgment, but the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s explore some strategies to help you end body judgment and make peace with your body.
What is Body Judgment?
Body judgment is a learned behavior that stems from societal standards of beauty and perfection. From a young age, we are bombarded with messages about what our bodies should look like, leading us to internalize these ideals and constantly compare ourselves to them. This constant comparison fuels body judgment and creates a negative cycle that can be difficult to break.
The impact of Body Judgment is negative.
Body judgment takes a toll on you. Some ways body judgment shows up is:
Mental health (depression, anxiety)
Body (yo-yo dieting)
Self-esteem (feeling bad about yourself)
Overall well-being
Constantly criticizing and condemning your body leads to low self-esteem, anxiety, and even disordered eating patterns. It hinders your ability to fully be present in your life and prevents you from embracing your true self. It’s time to break free from this destructive mindset.
You must shift your mindset about body judgment.
Challenge societal standards. Recognize that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Begin questioning the unrealistic ideals presented by the media and challenge their influence on your perception of yourself.
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Remember that nobody is perfect, and it’s okay (and normal!) to have imperfections.
Focus on what your body can do: Instead of fixating on appearance, shift your attention towards what your body can achieve. Celebrate its strength, resilience, and the amazing things it allows you to do. Even if you have some limited physical abilities, I challenge you to see what your body can do.
Cultivate a Positive Body Image.
First, surround yourself with positive influences. Follow social media accounts that promote body positivity and diversity. Listening to uplifting messages can help reshape your perception of bodies and beauty.
Second, engage in self-care activities. Take care of your body by engaging in activities that make you feel good. This could include movement, getting enough sleep, drinking more water, and nourishing yourself with nutritious foods.
Third, practice gratitude. Shift your focus from what you dislike about your body to what you appreciate about it. Each day, write down three things you are grateful for about your body.
Embrace Intuitive Eating as a form of Body Positivity.
Intuitive eating is a practice that involves listening to your body’s cues and honoring its needs. By adopting this approach, you can develop a more functional relationship with food and ultimately end the cycle of dieting and restriction.
Reject diet culture:Recognize that diets are unsustainable and can lead to disordered eating patterns. Instead, focus on nourishing your body with foods that make you feel good.
Tune into hunger and fullness cues:Pay attention to your body’s signals of hunger and fullness. Eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re satisfied, allowing yourself to enjoy a variety of foods without guilt or judgment.
Find joy in movement:Engage in physical activity that brings you joy rather than exercising to change your appearance. Choose activities that make you feel good both mentally and physically.
Seek assistance to move out of Body Judgment.
Ending body judgment is not an overnight process, and it can be challenging to do it alone. Consider seeking support from professionals who specialize in intuitive eating, positive psychology, or mental health. They can provide guidance and tools tailored to your specific needs.
In the end, it is time to break free from the vicious cycle of body judgment. By shifting our perspective, cultivating a positive body image, embracing intuitive eating, and seeking support when needed, we can make peace with our bodies and live a life free from constant criticism. Remember, you deserve love and acceptance exactly as you are. Embrace your uniqueness and let go of the judgment. You deserve to feel confident and at peace with your body.
Celia Clark is a food and body image specialist from Scotland. Celia brings a fresh perspective to our discussion by introducing the concept of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and its profound impact on our relationship with food and nourishment.
Understanding Internal Family Systems:
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic model that recognizes that we are made up of different parts, each with its own intentions and desires.
In the context of our relationship with food, these parts can manifest as:
Urges to restrict food.
Internal drive to binge on food.
Engage in other behaviors that distress us around food or not around food.
Unlike traditional approaches that demonize these behaviors (parts), IFS treats them as solutions to unmet needs.
Celia Clark shares her personal experience, highlighting the positive intentions behind these parts. For instance, the part focused on restriction seeks to keep us physically small to avoid judgment and shame.
The part driving binge eating attempts to meet unmet needs for connection, comfort, and escape.
By understanding and connecting with these parts, we can build safety and trust within ourselves, healing the shame-based wounds that drive our challenges with nourishment.
Recognizing the Impact of overeating on Body Image
Body image is often a significant factor in our relationship with food and ourselves. Celia emphasizes that body image struggles are driven by specific parts within us. By recognizing these parts, we can explore their intentions and begin to cultivate self-compassion.
In Internal Family Systems we are asked to get curious about the intention of the part.
What is this part trying to communicate about my body?
What is this part struggling with?
Is there something important I need to know?
Cultivating Nourishment Beyond Food
Nourishment extends far beyond what we eat. It encompasses how we care for ourselves in all aspects of life. Celia highlights the importance of being open to both receiving and offering nourishment.
Physical nourishment in terms of paying attention to our physical needs is critical:
Rest: be VERY mindful of your body’s need to rest.
Movement by engaging in types of movement celebrate you.
Clothing that reflects your body’s needs (i.e. fits well).
Nourishing foods
Emotional and Social nourishment is so valuable:
Increase self-worth.
Expressing needs clearly.
Practice healthy boundaries.
Soul satisfying relationships.
Embracing Curiosity and Validation
Curiosity is a crucial first step in the IFS process. By getting curious about our urges and behaviors, we can begin to understand the underlying needs and intentions of our parts.
Celia suggests journaling and self-reflection as tools to explore these aspects of ourselves. Validation plays a vital role in this process as well. By validating our experiences and emotions, we create a compassionate space for healing and growth.
Becoming the Internal Loving Parent
As we engage with our parts, it is essential to adopt the role of the internal loving parent. This means offering ourselves compassion, understanding, and support. Just as we would nurture and care for a young child, we can provide the same kind of love and care to our parts. By developing this nurturing relationship, we can meet the needs of our parts and alleviate the behaviors that no longer serve us.
The Transformative Power of Internal Family Systems
Internal Family Systems offers a radical shift in how we approach our relationship with food and ourselves. By focusing on the intentions and needs of our parts, rather than external factors like calories or body size, we can create a more compassionate and healing environment. This approach empowers us to address the root causes of our challenges with nourishment, leading to lasting change and a healthier, more holistic relationship with food.
Lastly, as we cultivate curiosity, validation, and self-compassion, we create a space for healing and growth. Internal Family Systems offers a powerful framework for transforming our relationship with food and nourishing our souls, empowering us to live a life of self-acceptance and well-being.
Celia Clark and Internal Family Systems:
If you resonate with the concepts discussed in this podcast episode, there are several ways you can explore Internal Family Systems further.
Celia Clark offers one-on-one sessions, group work, and online courses to support individuals on their healing journey. You can find more information on her website, including free resources to dive deeper into this transformative approach. https://www.celiaclark.online/
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor.
Did know the Solar Eclipse can give us some incredible insights into Intuitive Eating?
Recently, I started to hear about the solar eclipse. Friends of mine traveled to another state just to be in the path of the solar eclipse! I found the on-line Solar Eclipse tracker on-line and tracked its trajectory.
What is a Solar Eclipse?
Solar eclipses occur when the moon passes between the sun and Earth, casting a shadow on our planet. This alignment is a powerful reminder of the intricate dance between different elements in our lives. Just as the moon temporarily obscures the sun’s light, we may experience moments of darkness or struggle in our journey towards intuitive eating and body acceptance.
However, it is important to remember that these moments are transient, just like a solar eclipse. The sun always emerges from behind the moon, shining its light once again.
Similarly, we have the capacity to overcome challenges and emerge stronger in our relationship with food and our bodies.
There is a symbolism of Darkness and Light in overeating!
As in the Solar Eclipse, overeating can lead to a darkness that momentarily envelops us (feeling bad about ourselves). This darkness represents the shadows we often face in our relationship with food – feelings of guilt, shame, or restriction.
However, just as the sun eventually emerges from behind the moon, so too can we find light amidst these shadows.
Intuitive eating encourages us to embrace all aspects of our relationship with food without judgment or restriction. By acknowledging and accepting our dark moments, we can learn from them and pave the way for a more balanced and nourishing approach to eating.
I became even more interested in the power of the Solar Eclipse when my friend, Teresa Campos, offered her community a workshop on the symbolism of the Solar Eclipse. She told us when the moon is between the sun and earth it creates a shadow, which gives us an opportunity to see what shadows are showing up for ourselves. This workshop made me think further about the shadows in our lives around food, overeating and body image.
What are the Shadows in your life with food, body image and overeating?
Where am I struggling with food?
How do I struggle with my body image?
Where is there the lack of forgiveness?
Is there anger at myself or others?
These questions led me to inquire more about what I needed in my life.
The shadows are the undiscovered parts of us that are wanting to break through. The darkness of the eclipse is a metaphor to what shadows are going on in me. I can then move through it and the sun shines fully again.
Embracing Change: Lessons from the Transitory Nature of Solar Eclipses.
One of the most remarkable aspects of a solar eclipse is its transitory nature. It serves as a powerful reminder that change is inevitable and necessary for growth.
In our journey towards intuitive eating and body acceptance, we may encounter changes in our habits, beliefs, and perceptions.
Just like the moon moving across the sun, these changes can be transformative if we embrace them with an open mind and heart. By letting go of old patterns that no longer serve us, we create space for new experiences and a deeper connection with ourselves.
Here are some questions to start wondering about that deeper connection:
Where is there some darkness in my life?
What change is calling me?
Where is my support to make this change?
Finding Balance: Exploring the Relationship Between Sun and Moon in Body Acceptance.
The relationship between the sun and moon during a solar eclipse teaches us about balance. The sun represents our desire for warmth, nourishment, and vitality, while the moon symbolizes our emotions, intuition, and inner world.
Similarly, body acceptance requires finding equilibrium between honoring our physical needs and nurturing our mental well-being. Just as the sun and moon complement each other’s existence, we too can find harmony by embracing both aspects of ourselves – our bodies and minds – in our journey towards self-acceptance.
The Power Within: Using Intuitive Eating to Navigate Challenges.
As we witness the power of a solar eclipse, we are reminded of the immense energy within us waiting to be harnessed.
There are many tools to guide us on this path.
Looking through a positive lens (seeing the light).
Practicing self-compassion (honoring our value).
Building resilience (making pivots to increase our self-esteem).
We can navigate challenges with grace and strength. Just as the moon aligns perfectly with the sun during an eclipse, we too can align our thoughts and actions with our goals for intuitive eating, body acceptance, and mental well-being.
Reflecting on the lessons learned from solar eclipses, what can you apply to your own journey towards intuitive eating, body acceptance, and mental well-being?
Take a moment to journal or meditate on what changes you are ready to embrace and how you can find balance in your relationship with food and your body.
Consider seeking support from professionals or joining a community that aligns with your goals for further guidance and encouragement. You can join us in the Feed Your Soul Communityon Facebook.
We would love for you to join us in Emotional Eating Solutions, our course to help you move into peace with food through Intuitive Eating.
There I said it. I think exercising is ridiculous.
My clients often tell me they, too, do not want to exercise. They often ask me why they do not want to exercise. They know it is “good” for them, but they are unmotivated.
The people I talk to are motivated to exercise when they start a diet. Once they stop losing weight and stop the diet, then the exercise stops.
Aren’t we all supposed to want to exercise?
Merriam-Webster says physical exercise is:
The regular or repeated use of a faculty or bodily organ.
Bodily exertion for the sake of developing and maintaining physical fitness.
I have always thought exercise is something that I am supposed to want to do. I am supposed to want to be “physically fit,” whatever that might mean.
I, and many of my clients, do not resonate with the idea of exercise.
There are some powerful reasons not to want to exercise:
Exercising is connected to the dieting cycle of restrict, binge, and shame.
It can be hard and uncomfortable. Anyone who’s heard the term, “no pain, no gain” could agree.
You sweat A LOT, which can lead to embarrassment about your size.
Exercise can bring back the feelings from younger years of being shamed in P.E. class.
Your body is exposed through tight clothes. Gyms have LOTS of mirrors.
The ongoing judgment of yourself not being able to perform a physical task.
There is mental connection between exercise and dieting.
The list of why we do not exercise is long. When we have a history of eating disorders and disordered eating, there is plenty of baggage with exercise.
When my clients ask, why should I exercise? I respond you shouldn’t exercise.
Shocking right?
Even though exercise is loaded with baggage, we are in bodies and need to engage in movement.
Intuitive Eating calls it “joyful movement.”
We are meant to move our bodies in the way that works best for each of us. Everyone has a different level of capacity and ability.
Do what movement YOU can do.
We know from studies and experience that movement has many positive benefits:
Can help decrease depressive symptoms. Movement can get us to increase the endorphins our bodies need to feel better. Note: movement is not the cure for depression, but it can be a helpful part of your treatment. If you are experiencing depression, please seek out a licensed mental health professional.
Movement can help you sleep better. Being physically tired can be helpful.
My esthetician says my skin looks better since I have been engaging in more movement.
Lastly, we are in bodies that are made to be in motion and you get to define what that motion looks like.
What kind of movement should you engage in?
Here are some questions to help you figure it out:
First ask yourself, when I was younger what did I like to do?
What did you like to do 10, 20, 30 years ago.
What did you do as a child?
Where is there passion for movement you had years earlier?
Second ask yourself, which kind of movement brings me joy?
I often ask myself what kind of movement will bring me joy today?
This has led me to try many activities that I would not have normally tried like:
Yoga
Zumba
Stand Up Paddle Board
Hiking
As the years have gone by my answer to what movement brings me joy has changed.
I had been attending a gym for years and I was feeling bored there, and my intuitive voice said I need yoga. Now I have been going to a yoga studio for a few months, my joy has increased exponentially.
Third, determine what is fun to you NOW?
Ask yourself regularly, what would be a fun activity? I have been amazed how much I will step out of my movement comfort zone when I embrace what is fun. I will swing at the park, dance, and try aerial yoga (this was scary, but fun).
Honestly, having a history of food issues has led can lead you to reject exercise for many different reasons.
I encourage you to reject exercise, too.
This does not mean I am encouraging you to sit on the couch all day.
Embrace movement in a way that works for you. For me, some days it is extra sweaty hiking, other days it is calm yin yoga.
Movement is critical to our body’s wellbeing. Disconnecting the movement from dieting is critical to enjoyment and it leads us to want to do it some more.
In the end, try engaging in joyful movement. Look at what you can do that is fun and be active. It is an opportunity to reconnect with your body in a way that is pleasing to you.
I answered the phone, and the woman (Elisha Machado) told me she was from ABC News 10 and that she is looking to interview a therapist social media, kids and mental health for a broadcast that night.
My head was spinning. I have gotten many calls with somewhat similar statements, but never from a legitimate source. My business coaches were in my head saying, “Say YES.” My fear said, I do not know anything about this topic.
As I talked with Elisha further, it became clear that I had plenty of experience and knowledge to be of assistance to her and her viewers.
I said yes and as I prepared for the interview, I recalled all of the kids and teens I have counseled over the years. I actually had a lot to share with her.
We met for 15 minutes, and I shared as much as I could in that short period of time.
Elisha wanted to know how social media affects kids and their mental health.
Some ways social media affects kids and their mental health:
Low self-esteem
Decreased sleep
Cyberbullying
Poor body image (body comparison and body shaming)
Social isolation
Fear of missing out
Risky behaviors (often of the sexualized nature)
Misinformation
Comparison/envy
I really could have gone on and on about the effects of social media on teens and kids.
Truthfully there are areas where social media assists kids and there are areas of concern.
Mental health symptoms can be triggered by social media use in kids and teens:
Anxiety
Depression
Eating Issues
Mental health symptoms can be exacerbated by social media. There is a lot of comparison, feeling left out and cyberbullying among kids on social media. Really the same effects can happen to adults too.
Parents need to be aware of the problematic areas in social media and pay attention to what their kids are doing.
How can you manage social media, kids, and mental health?
1) Set up expectation for social media use.
Parents need to set boundaries with kids and teens. Setting limits means parents make decisions when kids need to be off social media:
When we have family time.
At bedtime.
In the middle of the night.
During homework.
2) Parents are role models for kids and teens social media usage.
I think it is important to take time off social media- as a family. Kids and teens can be on social media just like their parents. I think we, as parents, need to check ourselves with the amount of time we are on social media. We can be the role model for good social media usage.
3) Have conversations with your kids about their social media usage.
Talk to them when you see them on social media. Ask them in a friendly way to look at their social media with them. Don’t be confrontative. Ask them questions about what they are watching and what it means to them. Get involved. Show them you want to get to know them more and are curious about what they are doing.
On the interview, I talked about the fact is social media is here, whether it is restricted through legislation or not. I think it is helpful to have conversations with kids and teens about what they are doing, why they are doing it and what the ramifications might be.
4) Lastly, if your kid or teen is exhibiting concerning mental health symptoms contact a qualified mental health professional to help them.
If you see your kid or teen experiencing depression, anxiety, disordered eating or acting in a way that concerns you, seek out help. The landscape of social media is still new to all of us, and the things kids see or what is said to them on social media can be troubling. Contact a provider in your area.
