KimMcLaughlin - Feed Your Soul Therapy

Fitness and Exercise As A Tool To End Overeating

by KimMcLaughlin | Sep 24, 2014 | Podcast

Many women tell me they are not motivated to exercise, they do not want to sweat or they are too busy. Exercise is an important tool to end overeating. I spent some time with Denise Rhyne, coach at Kaia F.I.T.in Roseville. I asked her the questions I hear from so many women who feel overwhelmed with having to add exercise onto their already full plate. Denise is extremely passionate about fitness, but understands the reality of our daily lives. Denise advises us to get away from letting the number on the scale dictate our level of success, instead focus on “strong is the new skinny.” Here are her answers to the questions I often hear:

How does someone who has never worked out much get started?

First and foremost, start slowly and stay in the “now”. Stay away from the negative thoughts that say, “I shouldn’t have let myself get so out of shape”, “If only I’d started 3 years ago,” etc. Allow yourself to be exactly where you are with starting over or just starting your program.
Commit to your workouts for at least 21 days or 3-4 weeks in order to create a habit of activity.
Choose a venue or environment that feels comfortable to you, like if you know you love to be outdoors, pick an outdoor venue. If you know you love to do a variety of different exercises both indoors and outdoors, pick a place that will offer you those options.
Schedule your workout time (days, times and locations) on your calendar for at least 21 days.
Be patient and keep your expectations realistic, just starting is good.
Enjoy the process and don’t give up. Too many times we set unrealistic expectations and look at a workout program as a “start to finish” event. Instead, look at your health and workouts as a long term life style.

There do not seem to be enough hours in the day- how do you recommend someone find time to work out?

Just as we can all find extra money per month by eliminating even the smallest items, we can find extra time by eliminating time wasters or time spent doing things for everyone else that is not absolutely necessary.
Look at the time slots in your schedule that you can control and identify an appointment, errand, commitment you’ve made that you can delegate, or eliminate. Get up early while everyone is asleep or go right after work.
Although finding this time may initially be an adjustment and a challenging one at that for you and others in your family or circle, 99.9% of the time, everyone adjusts quite well and you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to keep that time to yourself!

So many women go to bed with the intention to work out the next day, but they wake up unmotivated. What are some tips to get motivated?

Ultimately, we all want to feel and look healthy, have more energy, sleep better, have clearer eyes and skin. It is proven that a healthy lifestyle including exercise and clean eating contribute to feeling and looking healthy.
Think about why you made the initial decision to begin your workout program; remind yourself of your “why.” Your own “why” is a deeper reason than wanting to lose weight. An example of someone’s “why” would be “I want to lose weight so that I can play and move with my kids at the park rather than sit on the bench because I am so uncomfortable getting up and down carrying this extra weight” or “I want to lower my cholesterol or blood pressure to prevent any risk of health issues that are prevalent in my family, so that I am around to see my kids graduate from high school, college”
If you have not really identified your “why”, now is the time to do this. Finding and remembering the real reason you want to stay on your journey to health and fitness is key to staying on your path.

People start a diet program and end up losing weight in the beginning but then plateau and can’t seem to lose the rest. They get frustrated and stop working out.

With so much information, hype and focus on losing weight and being thin, it’s easy to get caught up in the numbers and to lose track of the real and individual meaning of health and fitness for each of us.
The good news is that solely focusing on the number on the scale is not as important as how strong and fit you feel.
Strong is in. Feeling healthy and vibrant is in. Looking and feeling fit is in.
A true plateau is four weeks of no body fat lost, no inches lost AND no weight loss. Chances are, when we think we’ve hit a plateau, we really haven’t. If in fact you have experienced no changes in any of the 3, you’re not at a complete dead end. This is a great opportunity to re-evaluate and get extra honest with you, with your nutrition and exercise habits.
- How are your meal and snack portions?
- How frequently are you eating?
- What are you eating?
- Are you consistent with your workouts? Are you mixing up your workout regime so that your muscles and mind are “confused” and are not used to the same old training regime? “When you change your workout routine frequently, you are asking your body to continuously adapt and to be challenged, act and react in different ways to do what you’re asking it to do. With the constantly changing movement of your muscles, your metabolism will naturally increase.”
- A good exercise to help reset yourself is to journal your food and workouts for at least 3 days. 99% of the time you will find that your portions are a bit larger than they should be or you are waiting too long in between meals to eat or those “just this time” less than optimal food choices are occurring more frequently than you realized. You may also realize that your workouts have been more sporadic than you thought.
- Keep track, change it up and keep going!

Gyms can be intimidating- what should someone look for in deciding where to work out?

First impressions are always key and are also most always accurate. When you call or drop in to check out a gym or workout facility, you want to feel immediately and genuinely “invited” or welcome. If the feeling you get from your first encounter does not sit well with you, move on.
Don’t be afraid to ask any and all questions that you have. You workout program is about you.
With that said, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. If you find a workout place where you love everything you see and hear but there are one or two items that are not on your “perfect gym list”, re-evaluate whether or not those items are excuses or real requirements. An example might be, if one of your requirements is that the workout area’s temperature is like that of a doctor’s office waiting room and the facility you’ve found is not as cool, but you love everything else about the facility and you have no medical conditions that require you to be in a certain temperature.

Get out of that temperature comfort zone and try something new! You will be pleasantly surprised at how quickly this requirement becomes unimportant to you and that is really was an excuse!

If you are struggling to put exercise as part of your lifestyle, I think Denise makes some great suggestions. I have personally used her suggestions to help me remain motivated. Thinking more about fitness as a goal and less about weight loss can be a great contribution to overall success. Hope to see you at the gym soon!

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.

Balancing Point

by KimMcLaughlin | Aug 28, 2014 | Podcast

At my gym there is this piece of equipment called a Bosu; a large half ball-half round platform that you balance on when you are performing different exercises. You can stand on the ball portion with the flat side down and as you stabilize your feet do exercise such as squats. You have to engage your core, arms, legs, and feet to remain on the ball. This exercise can be tough for me because if I am not centered and balanced, I will fall off. The same occurs in life; when I am not balanced, I fall down (metaphorically). I have found I need to have a list of strategies that get me back in balance as soon as possible. I am challenging myself to come up with a list of 100 that I can use to help reset my balance. The starting spot is to notice I am out of balance. I find that checking in with myself through a quick deep breath is one way to notice. Another way to notice if I am out of balance is to look for some signs – sad, mad, tired, and anxious feelings are signs that I am off balance. I think balance is critical, and without it you can feeling like you are struggling. I recommend each person come up with their own list of strategies that balance. To get you started thinking about this for yourself, here are some from my list:

Journaling- I have a journal that I write in as I need. I find it is a place to put my feelings, thoughts and stuff in my head I really want to get rid of. I write as a brain dump and I get clarity and focus afterwards.
List 5 things I am grateful for from my day- nightly as I am laying my head on the pillow, I review the day and think to myself what happened that I am grateful for. I have to come up with at least 5 items. Usually it is much more than 5.
Exercise/Movement- I like to walk, workout at the gym (I go 3-4x a week without fail), hike, swim. This is a great stabilizer.
Eat more veggies- when I feel out of balance, I look to my food and see what is off. I find increasing my veggies makes my body feel good.
Meditation- I have been consistently sitting quietly for 5-10 minutes daily for the past few weeks and finding that it is such a wonderful way to recharge and balance. I know everyone has a hectic schedule, but I carve out 5-10 minutes at some point in my day. A friend reminded me to make it as an appointment in my calendar.

My list will not be your list, but you might find you like some of my tactics for yourself. Once you have your list, use them. When you are struggling emotionally, struggling with food, give them a try. I like to complete one a day to keep myself in balance. I think you will find your balance point.

Let us know what you are doing in the comments below.

Ending Emotional Eating

by KimMcLaughlin | Jul 30, 2014 | Podcast

In a previous blog post I talked about Understanding Emotional Eating. Now that you know the definition it is time to explore what to do to end it. Emotional eating is eating when you are not physically hungry and it is used to calm or push down emotions. Many emotions can trigger emotional eating: sadness, loneliness, boredom, or anger. Some signs that you could be emotionally eating are when you are looking for food after a stressful situation or some triggering event, or you are eating and getting overly full often. In order to determine the emotion, it takes a little detective work. I call it getting curious. Ask yourself, “why am I wanting sugary food when I am not hungry; what could be going on?” Then get silent for a moment and check inside. I like to take a deep breath at that point in time. Then ask yourself, “how am I feeling?” happy, sad, mad, scared, or anxious. Then ask yourself, “What can I do right now to handle this feeling?” Some ideas are:

Walk around the block. If you are at work, walk to the bathroom. The point is, just move.
Write a little in a journal that can be in the form of a binder, little tablet in your purse, or on your phone (I have a phone app that lets me write in a journal).
Talk to a trusted person and let them know how you are feeling.

During this process, I like to tell myself that I can have the food if I really want, but only after I figure out what is going on. Generally, by the time I figure out what I was feeling I am no longer hungry. Those food cravings are really a call to look deeper at what is going on inside of you. When you do not take that opportunity to consider the emotions underneath the food craving, you are reinforcing that overeating is a solution. The problem is that the food is not the solution to your feelings. It does not really solve the issue and can make it worse, because you end up feeling overfull, guilty that you overate, and possibly depriving yourself of food at your next meal.

Emotional eating is actually helpful, because it is a call to check back in with yourself- as long as you use it that way. If you do engage in emotional overeating, just move forward. Check in with yourself to understand what happened and what feeling you were trying to subside and move on. Guilt can be your worst enemy and lead to additional overeating. Be kind to yourself and begin to understand your emotional eating. It can help you put food back in its proper place as nourishment for your body.

Do you have tools that help you end emotional eating? We would love to hear them. Let us know in the comments below.

Spring Cleaning: Let it Go!

by KimMcLaughlin | May 21, 2014 | Podcast

I have a confession. There are clothes in my closet that I have not worn in many, many years. I look at those items most days and move through to the next article of clothing that I know I will want to wear. I know that having clothing that I do not wear can be an energy drain. The clothing that I do not wear have some things in common:

They do not fit comfortably.
I do not like the style or I do not think I look good in that particular style.
They look old.

I know having clothing in my closet that I won’t wear is not good for me. It reminds me of mistakes in buying that I made. It reminds me I wasted money. It reminds me of something I do not like.

Clothes I am letting go of.

What you will not find in my closet are clothes that do not fit me because the size is too large or too small. I have found those are the clothes that used to remind me that I was not the size I wanted to be. Also, sometimes I would keep clothing from when I was larger, just in case I regained the weight. I would keep the clothing because when I started my next diet, I would then be able to fit into them. I felt burdened by those clothes and ashamed that I had yet again gained weight. I have since learned the value of having clothing that fits me as I am right now. For me, living in the reality of the present moment helps me to consider being a little better in the next moment. I know there are people who will say that keeping the clothing that is too small is motivation to lose weight. That has not been my experience. I found that keeping those clothes that are too small remind me that I have not been successful.

So now I am cleaning my closet and finding that there are other clothes that feel like a burden to me, because I know I have not worn them for ages. As I am sorting these clothes something interesting is happening; I am resistant to letting them go. I am unsure if I want to get rid of them. I think, maybe I will wear them some day. I’m noticing the emotion of guilt for buying clothing that I really do not like. How could I do that? I now realize that when I shop for clothing, I can tend to get what I think I should like.

As I take this step to let go of what I do not want, I can begin to feel the freedom of keeping around me only items that celebrate me and how I want to look.

This is my new commitment. I will:

Shop in a more leisurely manner (no kids, no time table).
Buy clothing that makes me feel good, not what I think I should wear.
Let go of clothing that does not suit me.

I am focused on moving forward and find that having clothing that celebrates me right now is positive and helps me achieve this goal. Lately, I have been teaching my clients the idea that positivity propels us forward and negativity propels us backwards. Since I want to move forward, I am inviting a positive mindset which includes discarding items that I do not use (including clothing).

Do you have a closet with clothing that you have not worn in over a year? Do you have clothing that you are waiting to wear when you lose weight? Consider letting it go! Let us know below that you are going to take a step to clean out your closet.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Tips to End the Fear of Bathing Suit Shopping

by KimMcLaughlin | May 7, 2014 | Podcast

I love to swim, so recently I went shopping for a bathing suit. I knew it could bring up some negative thoughts. I decided the good feeling I get from swimming was more important than any negative feeling about trying on a bathing suit. I survived and got a suit that will fit my needs.

Soon after that shopping experience, I read an article about a study of women’s perception about themselves in bathing suits. The researcher, Marika Tiggemann (a psychologist at Flinders University in Australia) found that women feel more negative about their bodies when they are in the store trying on bathing suits as compared when they are wearing their bathing suit in public. She concluded that the negative thoughts were triggered by the bright lights, the intense look at the body and the large mirrors.

Here are some ideas to survive the trip to the store to try on bathing suits:

Don’t spend too much time at the mirror.
Counteract the negative voices that might be telling yourself that your body is not OK.
Remember the fun you will have swimming.
Don’t focus on the size of the suit (it is really just a number).

Many women feel self-conscious about their bodies, and being in a bathing suit can really magnify those negative thoughts.

I guess the option is to not go swimming, which I am sad to say many choose to avoid being seen in a bathing suit. My desire to swim is much greater than any self-conscious feelings I have. Maybe you are like me, considering myself a work in progress and trying to improve feelings about my body, knowing that swimming is great outdoor activity that leads to increased health and self-esteem. Hey come on and join me at the pool, the water is great! Do have any bathing suit purchase experiences? Let us know below.

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