Holiday Trifecta
As far as I am concerned the holiday season starts October 1. I call this time of year the Holiday Trifecta: Three major holidays in quick succession. In October there is Halloween, in November there is Thanksgiving, and in December there is Christmas; it is the 3 months of over indulgence, letting loose and overeating. It is, also, the time of feeling bad about our bodies, disconnecting from the true meaning of the holidays, as well as it is the time of extreme eating. During this time of year, we can tend to eat (overeat) all the foods we avoid the other times of the year. It is the sanctioned 3 months of allowable overeating.
People, in general, ask me all the time why they overeat.
When they talk about the overeating, they talk about the frustration, anxiety and feeling terrible about themselves. I tell them there is the buildup of not 
allowing themselves to eat (dieting/restricting), then they overeat, and in the end feeling bad about overeating (guilt). It is a vicious cycle. I speak with people daily who go through this cycle on a regular basis. The holiday time is different because the foods we restrict throughout the year become fair game. As we eat those “special” holiday foods, we can allow ourselves to overeat.
The holidays, individually, are not bad in and of themselves. Halloween Day you can have some candy. Thanksgiving Day you can have some turkey, gravy and mashed potatoes. Christmas Day you can have some cookies and sweets. Those individual holiday days are not the problem. One meal of overeating is not a big deal; the problem is all the other days and meals in between the actual holiday day (the Holiday Trifecta).
Often the answer to all of this overeating is, come January 1 – “I will go on a diet” or “I’ll think about it on January 1 at the New Year.” During the 3 month Holiday Trifecta, There are many days of overeating that you end up feeling bad about yourself and bad about your body (hence leading you to think you need to diet/restrict come January 1).
Let’s be honest with ourselves. What happens when we allow ourselves to overeat at the holiday time?
We tend to:
- Become more and more disconnected from our bodies and ourselves. Mindless about how we are really feeling.
- Feel bad in our bodies feel bad. Physically we have an upset stomach, bloating and weight gain.
- Start disliking ourselves and feel bad about ourselves. People often tell me that after they overeat they hate themselves.
- Suffer emotionally, feeling angry, frustrated and overwhelmed.
- Think about food more often than not and that bothers us.
The problems and suffering with overeating is REAL. I am here to tell you there is a better way. A way to peace with food.
Here are some simple suggestions.
- Take a deep breath. Cam and anxiety cannot exist together. Breathe as you think about eating and as you are eating. It gets you to reconnect with your body.
- Notice your bodily signals about hunger and fullness. Ask yourself, “Am I hungry?” before you eat is a great first step.
- Allow more self-care. This is the season of letting our needs go to the wayside, don’t let that happen!
- Get support. I am not talking about going on whatever the current diet fad being promoted on Yahoo or Facebook. Find someone who helps you find peace with food and can put you in touch with strategies to put food in its proper place as nourishment.
It is important to know that during the Holiday Trifecta it can be so enjoyable with all of the gatherings, festivities and decorations, but it is also loaded with difficulties.
The difficulties can make the good times less enjoyable, because you are worried and feeling bad. Start by noticing how you are feeling and what you are saying to yourself. If there is negativity or worry, it could be time to get that support to help you feel more peaceful.
During this Holiday Trifecta time period, I there are options to travel down the road towards peace with food. You do not have to feel overwhelmed with food anymore this holiday season! You’ve got this!
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor and Inspirational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration and soon to be released book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food.
Check out Kim’s answer to the Holiday Trifecta- Peace with Food- Holiday Challenge. Around each of the three holidays, Kim is offering a specialized online program to help you make peace with food. Check it out here: https://feedyoursoulunlimited.com/peace-with-food-thanksgiving/
Release Holiday Food Stress: Be an Intuitive Eater this Thanksgiving
Can You Really Be an Intuitive Eater at Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving and intuitive eating might seem like an unlikely pair. Thanksgiving is known for overflowing plates, endless choices, and the cultural expectation to overeat. Intuitive eating, however, is about listening to your body, honoring hunger and fullness, and approaching food with peace (not pressure).
But here’s the truth:
You can be an intuitive eater at Thanksgiving.
I’ve practiced intuitive eating for years, and I’ve supported clients who successfully enjoy the holiday without guilt, restriction, or bingeing.
If I can do it, so can you.
Why This Season Feels So Hard: The Holiday Trifecta
I call the stretch from October 1 to December 31 the Holiday Trifecta. It’s three full months of parties, sweets, special foods, and pressure to “let loose” with eating, paired with an equally strong expectation to diet/lose weight come January.
This is the binge-restrict cycle, and it isn’t a personal failure. It is a version of our culture that shames you for eating. The holidays amplify this message.
Here’s what happens…
Dieting and restricting throughout the year often lead to overeating during special occasions (any holiday). When we limit foods, they become more tempting. When they eventually show up again—like holiday meals—we naturally want more. This is not a lack of willpower. It’s the predictable backlash of restriction.
Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are one month after the other, which creates a lot of pressure around food. The pressure continues with social and familial expectations.
Intuitive eating offers a different path.
How to Be an Intuitive Eater at Thanksgiving
Here are the practices that support me (and my clients) in feeling grounded, peaceful, and connected at holiday meals:
1. Spend part of the day with movement that feels good
This year I am going to a morning yoga class. Other years, my family participated in a local turkey trot or taking a long walk. It isn’t about earning food or burning calories, it’s simply enjoyable activities. Movement can be part of your holiday if it feels nourishing, not punishing.
I enjoy taking a walk after the Thanksgiving meal. It is a great way to get out of the house and get centered.
2. Eat regular meals all day and don’t “save up” for the Thanksgiving meal
One of the biggest mistakes I see people do is not eat all day, so they can “earn” a big meal later. This can lead you to feeling overly hungry, which is a set up for overeating.
On Thanksgiving day, I eat breakfast and lunch just like any other day. When I arrive at the Thanksgiving table, I’m neither starving nor planning to tightly control myself. I choose foods I genuinely want, serve a portion that feels satisfying, and remind myself I can always go back for more.
And you know what?
After years of intuitive eating, I usually find that my first plate is enough.
3. Tune into Hunger and Fullness
Before eating, I check in with my body:
- Am I hungry and how hungry am I?
- What sounds satisfying?
- How will this food make me feel?
Pay attention to both hunger cues and satiety (fullness) cues. Stopping when I’m comfortably full—not stuffed, not deprived. Listening to my body is a skill, and Thanksgiving is a great time to practice.
I have learned that feeling stuffed afterwards is not an enjoyable physical feeling, so I do what I can to avoid it.
4. Care for your emotions
Food isn’t the only challenge at Thanksgiving. Emotions can run high: family dynamics, stress, overstimulation, or expectations can be overwhelming.
I always create a plan to address my emotions ahead of time. My plan often involves:
- Taking a short walk
- Switching conversations
- Taking a few deep breaths
- Stepping outside for quiet
- Finding someone supportive to chat with
Emotional care helps prevent turning to food as the only coping tool.
Think about what you may need emotionally this year and give yourself permission to honor those needs.
Holiday Foods Aren’t Special-Unless We Make Them Special
A big driver of holiday overeating is the belief that certain foods are only available once a year. Marketers fuel this idea with seasonal items (hello, Pumpkin Spice Latte) that create a sense of scarcity.
But here’s the truth:
Most Thanksgiving foods are available year-round.
We could make turkey or pies in March if we wanted. I used to think that mashed potatoes are only available during the holidays. We began to have the more often, because we like them.
When we allow ourselves year-round access to the foods we love, something powerful happens:
habituation.
When we are freely offered food anytime of the year, it is not this irresistible food anymore. We are then less likely to overeat it.
This is why intuitive eating works so well during the holidays, food is never forbidden, and you’re not entering the season from a place of deprivation.
Societal and Cultural Messages About Holiday Eating
These messages are everywhere at this time of year, and they keep us stuck in the binge/restrict cycle:
1. You must exercise to “earn” your meal.
How many times have you heard someone say, I’m going to the Turkey Trot this morning, so I can eat our Thanksgiving meal. This reinforces punishment-based movement and disconnects you from your body. A lot of people I work with do not exercise because it has been seen as punishment for eating.
2. Plan your plate by calories, points, or macros.
Diet culture tells us to pre-decide what we “should” eat. Intuitive eating allows you to choose what you want in the moment. I remember being on a diet where the instructor told us the week before to plan what we would eat on Thanksgiving. I found this was an impossible task. I now know that I go from an intuitive eating mindset and chose in the moment what will work for me.
Granted, there might be a certain style of eating that fuels your body better, do what fits you!
3. Restrict all week so you can indulge on Thanksgiving.
I used to hear this in from diet gurus who said we should eat less during the week so we can eat more at Thanksgiving. This is a setup for overeating, shame, guilt and binging. You deserve to have the right amount of food all week, regardless of what you eat at a holiday meal.
4. “Eat as much as you can—it’s the only time you get this food!”
Overeating is increased by the scarcity mindset. Truthfully, holiday foods are generally always available. In my area we can get foods at most times of the year OR we can freeze foods to eat later. Part of what makes holidays so special is the foods that taste so good and can remind us of our past.
5. Expect to feel physically sick afterward.
NO, it is not normal to expect to feel sick after you eat. I like to have what I want and tell myself; I can have more later. Planning to feel uncomfortable in your body (overfull) is not a loving way to treat yourself.
I encourage you to lean into honoring your bodies needs no matter what holiday it is.
6. Feel guilty because you ate too much.
Sometimes we eat too much for any number of reasons. This is the time to be kind to yourself and lean into more self-love. One of my core principles is to embrace more self-love.
7. Make low-fat or low-calorie versions of your favorite treat.
Ugh, on a holiday I do like the version that tastes the best- not the one that is the lowest calorie. We want to feel satisfied after the meal, which supports our body’s needs.
What If You Ate Intuitively All Year Long?
Eating on Thanksgiving is no different from eating later in the year. Intuitive eating can be the goal for each meal.
Your body doesn’t change its needs because it is a holiday.
Intuitive eating helps you approach every meal with the same mindset: centered, calm, and connected.
Here are some good Intuitive Eating questions to ask yourself…
- What would it feel like to eat intuitively 365 days a year?
- How can I drop the holiday panic and the January guilt?
- When do I trust my body to tell me what it needs?
If I can do this, you can do this. This is possible for you.
Consider what your next step could be?
Think about one way you could bring intuitive eating into your Thanksgiving this year.
It might be:
- Eating breakfast
- Serving yourself what you actually want
- Stopping when you’re satisfied
- Caring for your emotions
- Taking a calming breath before you plate your food
You don’t have to overhaul everything all at once; just small shifts create big peace.
I wish you a holiday filled with food freedom, emotional ease, and deep connection with your body.
You deserve all of this and so much more.
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.
You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.
Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.
Can you have peace with food this holiday season?
Do you find you are already thinking about candy? It is front and center in the grocery stores. I have already heard stories of people buying candy in September and eating all of it.
This is your opportunity to look at this holiday season, which I lovingly call the Holiday Trifecta, differently. The holiday trifecta is the time between October 1 and January 1 where we can be tempted by food. This is 3 months of pressure, stress and overwhelm.
Here are some ways to handle food over the holiday season:
- Don’t keep candy in the house?
- Think you won’t overeat during a holiday meal and then despite your best intention you overeat to the point of feeling sick.
- Plan to overeat this holiday and deal with it (weight gain) January 1 when you plan to go on your diet.
- Plan to restrict your food intake over the holidays. Well, maybe not we all know how well that can work after the second week in October????.
The saying “failing to plan means you’re planning to fail” takes on a whole new meaning when we look at the holiday season. We think we will do it the RIGHT way (whatever that is) and not have problems with food.
The difficulty is the plan is around food not around all the areas that lead us to overeat. This is the season of the special foods, the one we do not have all year. The ones we wait all year for (hello Pumpkin Spiced Latte). We want a lot of the special food because we feel deprived of them the rest of the year.
This deprivation mimics when we are on a diet, and we say we can’t have something. We engage in diet type behavior all year when we don’t have these special foods and then at the holidays, we overeat them. One of my wins is to realize that we can have mashed potatoes anytime, it does not have to just be at Thanksgiving. Allowing the food when we want it makes it part of our normal routine.
To move through this time, it can be helpful to have a plan:
- How will I address food?
- How will I address my emotions?
- How will I address my thoughts?
- How will I address my social obligations, including family members?
- How will I create peace?
- How will I act in a loving way towards myself?
All the above questions lead to the overwhelm. This plan does not have to be vast, but it must be in the forefront of your mind.
There is a better way.
The starting spot can be answering the questions we addressed earlier. Make a conscious choice to make it a peaceful holiday season AND enjoy yourself.
Need support for food this holiday season?
Peace with Food: Holiday Edition is coming!!! This is a super affordable way ($29) to get peace with food this holiday season. Check it out here: https://go.feedyoursoulunlimited.com/holidaychallenge2022
Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.
You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.
Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.
Holiday Hungers 2020
We are deep in this very unusual holiday season. I find that so often over the holidays we are feeding a lot of things other than ourselves. We are trying to feed our soul and our inner knowing, but we are not doing it in the correct way. Why is it hard to manage our...Are you an Emotional Eater?
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